The Power of Human Connection

I believe in the power of human connection.  We are unique from other sentient beings in many ways, but the most profound difference is our ability to connect with others.  We not only connect with other humans, but we can connect with anything.  We have an innate desire and a need to be connected, to belong, to be in harmony with our surroundings.  Our capacity for connection is transformative and magical!

For me, there are two characteristics or qualities that determine the value and sustainability of any connection.  First, the connection must be mindful.  Our ability to connect comes from a deep place of mindfulness.  Second, our connections must be meaningful.  They must bring value to our lives.  Without these two elements, connection is temporary.  While there is nothing inherently wrong with connections that come and pass, those that last and bring true joy to our lives are mindful and meaningful.

Mindful connection comes from knowing who we are as unique beings and our own sense of self-value.  A mindful connection must be rooted in self-love for without it, the energy to sustain the connection is lost.  A connection with another is enabled first and foremost by connection to our authentic self.  We cannot offer to another what we do not possess ourselves.  Mindful connection also requires our sensitivity to another.  Empathy is one aspect, but the mindful connection is deeper; it is inherently spiritual.  When we are mindfully connected to another, we know it within our spirits.  The term “kindred spirit” describes the depth of a mindful connection.  And this mindfulness isn’t a one-time event.  There is an energy that continually flows in a relationship that is rooted through a mindful connection.

The second critical aspect of human connection is meaningfulness.  A connection brings value to both beings on a regular basis.  This doesn’t mean equally at all times.  We all know of instances where what we give is disproportional to what we may be presently receiving.  We can give to another in their time of need without expectation of quid pro quo.  Authentic relationships don’t keep score.  Think, for instance, of the connection you may have with your favorite pet.  Your experience in that relationship could be different than your pet’s experience, yet both are meaningful because of the value in the connection.

Does every connection have to be both mindful and meaningful?  At some level, I say yes.  Not every connection requires deep transparency and spiritual energy, but connection doesn’t exist without a degree of mindfulness and meaning.  Otherwise, there is no need for the connection.  Connection can be shallow and context dependent, yet it still requires mindfulness (the purpose for connection) and value (meaningful) to both beings.  Otherwise, there is either no need for connection in the first place, or the “perceived” connection might be experienced as manipulation.

As we approach the holiday season, we are reminded of important life connections.  This is a time to reflect on the quality of our relationships.  If a connection is important to you, ask yourself the following questions:

   1. Am I being authentic in this relationship?  If not, what can I to do to bring more of myself into the connection?

   2. Am I being mindful of my own feelings and needs as well as the other?  Am I sensitive (and connected) enough to know for sure?

   3. What meaning does this connection have for me?  You might consider sharing that meaning with the other and expressing gratitude for the relationship.

True connection can transform our lives.  Unfortunately, we often take our deepest connections for granted.  Each connection must be nurtured and each will continually evolve over time.  We must be prepared to change with our connections if we hope to sustain, strengthen, and grow ourselves.  We can take a lesson from the way our brains work – neural paths are strengthened with exercise.  Human connections are likewise made stronger and enduring the more they are attended to; it’s the nature and gift of what it means to be human.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Winning the Survivor Game

Most of us are familiar with the Survivor reality TV series.  In the show, contestants are placed in a remote location where they undergo a series of elimination tests with one contestant ultimately being crowned “survivor”.  It’s a game of intrigue, deceit, alliances, and cut-throat behavior.  While this makes for great TV (for some), it unfortunately reflects the lives of too many of us.  Are you winning the game?

Henry David Thoreau said “most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them”.  When we live the life we believe is expected of us, we lose touch with the song that is unique to who we are.  We end up in careers chasing ever-elusive success at the expense of our authentic self.  The Survivor show looks like the boardrooms and executive suites of too many companies in our world today.  There is too much similarity between Survivor and real life.  Perhaps that is one reason why the show remains popular; too many can relate to it.

This truth has become evident to me of late.  Having left the corporate world dissatisfied with politics and games, I started my own company.  I chose to work in business strategy.  It was comfortable for me.  Many have lauded my strategist skills.  What’s more, when I formed my company, no one was surprised that I took this path.  After all, it was expected of me.  Yet after 18 months of building a client base and dispensing advice, I remained unsettled.  Something was missing.  I was living the life expected of me, but not a life true to my authentic self.  I was still playing the game.

If you aren’t familiar with the work of Brene^’ Brown, I highly recommend it.  In her book “The Gifts of Imperfection” she succinctly lays out the case for living within our authentic, imperfect self.  It’s only when we choose to embrace the uncertainty and vulnerabilities in our lives that we begin to get in touch with what makes us unique.  I wondered why my skills as an accomplished strategist seemed to suddenly become so difficult to tap as I worked to build my business.  At first, I thought it was the challenges of running my own business, typical startup inertia, the economy, etc….  There were dozens of reasons why I wasn’t growing as quickly as I had hoped.  Successful yes, but lighting the world on fire – no.

Then it began to occur to me, gradually at first and then with a rush of clarity.  The missing ingredient was passion.  I am good at strategy and have a track record to prove it.  But being good at something doesn’t mean there is passion nor that it is aligned with your authentic and unique gifts.  When we make decisions in our life informed by what others believe we’re good at, it should cause us to pause.  It doesn’t mean we are misaligned, but it should be a warning signal. When we aren't aligned, we often end up staying in the game.  We keep pursuing the elusive "success" trophy that crowns us a winner.

It’s only when what we do brings joy and contentment that we can know we’re on the right path.  So if you feel like you’re stuck on a remote island somewhere caught in a struggle to win the survival game, perhaps it’s time to get off the island and take a different path.  I have come to that realization and it's exhilarating much like it must feel when a castaway is finally rescued from their isolated existence.

For me, I accepted that I had traded one island for another when I started my strategy consulting practice.  When I took the comfortable and expected path, I found myself in familiar territory but simply swapped one set of characters for another.  It wasn't a new direction, it was simply a different place but the same game and rules.  I have chosen to leave the island - hopefully for good.  The path from here sometimes looks frightening and uncertain.  But I know this - I’m finally headed in the right direction.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Stand Your Ground

It’s unfortunate that events of late related to the Zimmerman/Martin trial in Florida have shrouded the phrase ‘stand your ground’ in such an unfavorable light.  The tragic events surrounding this situation has placed a spotlight on laws that in my opinion have little to do with ‘stand your ground’ in the deepest sense of the word.  For me, this phrase is a statement of spiritual determination and prevailing on the human journey.  To ‘stand your ground’ means to know your place in this world and doggedly live your own truth.  This statement has more to do with the strength of the human spirit than someone’s ability to violently defend oneself in the face of an attacker.

Let’s take back this statement from the theater of politics and race and return to the root of human truth.  It all starts with the conviction of knowing ‘who’ you are and the gifts you bring to humanity.  Being grounded in who you are is the cornerstone.  Standing with your feet planted confidently in your authentic self is essential.  Being able to stand in your own truth is often painful not only for yourself, but those closest to you.  I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to making decisions that were easy or convenient at the time instead of relying on my heart and being true to my deeper self.  Once those decisions are made, it becomes incredibly difficult to unravel them even in the face of knowing our inner truth.  This is where the dangers are increased and the potential damage more severe.

Our journeys are filled with challenges designed to test resolve and encourage us to grow.  Without these tests, we ultimately fail to achieve our highest human potential.  Facing into these events can be as frightening as being confronted by a potential attacker – ‘stand your ground’ has that much in common with recent events.  However, the similarity ends there.  To stand in your own truth in those moments of emotional or spiritual peril is not an act of violence.  Instead, it is an act of love borne of inner determination, empathy, and human connection.  Standing in your own truth is an act of courage. 

There come times in our lives where we stand at crossroads pondering our future.  The paths before us often come in two forms.  One road looks easy meandering forward along familiar territory with little sign of danger ahead.  The other often looks formidable, towering over us with peril at nearly every turn.  I’m reminded of the scene in the Hannah Hurnard novel “Hind’s Feet on High Places” where the character Much Afraid stares upward at the cliffs above her as the Shepherd informs her that this is her chosen path.  She stands there trembling and dizzy looking up at the treacherous path before her.  As she hesitates to take the necessary step forward, the Shepherd encourages her once again to take the hands of her companions and step forward.  Only after she takes those first few steps does she begin to see there is a path that leads to the top.  While it still appears to be filled with obstacles and opportunity for harm, the path doesn’t appear to be as impossible as it did in the beginning.

What we often don’t realize in those moments is that the meandering path that looks so easy is actually leading us away from our destination.  And while casually walking along in relative ease, we fail to detect until it’s often too late that we are even further from our true path.  It’s in those moments that we can fall into despair and regret for having wasted so much time taking the easy route.  It’s only when we face into our fear and embark on the path less traveled that we begin to find the route ahead and a way to the top.  Yet we don’t have to make the journey alone.  There are others willing to grasp our hands and keep us from falling to our emotional or spiritual death.  Standing your ground in those moments with the conviction that your own truth is guiding your path can be both exhilarating and fearful.

What often appears to us as a formidable precipice impossible to climb is viewed by experienced climbers as a great challenge.  This is where choosing seasoned experts who have successfully navigated perilous paths before you is critical.  You will have to make the climb under your own power - no one can make the climb for you or carry you to the top.  However, walking in the steps of others and taking advice as they journey with you can ease the anxiety and dramatically improve your chance of success.  Such trusted companions are indispensable as you search for a path to the top.  And while no two routes to the top are likely to be the same, being able to spot obstacles and dangers is far easier when you have capable companions.

So next time you stand at the crossroads of a momentous decision, remember to plant your feet firmly in who you are and in confidence, step forward boldly on the path you are called to.  Remember while the easy path may be tempting and appear less dangerous, in the end, you may find yourself further from your destination.  Be courageous and take the path less traveled that leads to your highest purpose.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Be Unique

Everything in nature is unique.  As humans, we’re not alone in being ‘one of a kind’ when compared to others.  Consider for a moment the leaves on a tree.  When we look at a tree, we classify it as a certain type (e.g. a maple tree).  But have you ever looked closely at the leaves?  From a distance, the leaves all look similar.  They have the same shape, color, and basic composition.  But look closely and you’ll find that every leaf is different.  Nature is full of uniqueness.  Just as every snowflake is different, many other things are in fact one of a kind.  Every one of us is equally unique in our own way.  Recognizing and celebrating that realization is the essence of life itself.

As humans, we are accustomed to being unique.  We have very specific fingerprints, our DNA distinguishes us from others, and our personalities are unique.  Being unique is a privilege and owning our own path in life is a responsibility not to be taken lightly.  Why is being unique such an important element of life?  I’m reminded of a scene in the first Jurassic Park movie where Ian Malcom, the chaostician is demonstrating the principles of chaos theory to Ellie Sattler by using a droplet of water on the back of her hand.  He mentions “tiny imperfections” as the reason why the water doesn’t travel the same direction twice.  Being fully present to the small differences in life raises our awareness of the profound uniqueness all around us.  If everyone was similar or the same, life would be awful boring!

The same is true of our own journeys through this life.  We often rely upon conventional logic and societal norms to guide our decisions.  We travel along in the belief that what has worked well for others must be true for ourselves.  When we allow ourselves to become trapped in such thinking, it’s no different than standing back and looking at the leaves on a tree – they all look the same.  In doing so, we surrender elements of our uniqueness so we “fit in” with everyone else.  But when we take the time to look more deeply and closely, we find that we aren’t like all the other leaves and in fact, every leaf is different.  When we own our differences it frees us to make decisions that celebrate our own unique place in this world.  With that awareness comes tremendous responsibility.  The decisions we make and actions we take do affect others.  This is the essence of the power of human connection.

A single leaf does make a difference, but it works as an integral component of the larger whole.  We have an obligation as humans to stay connected to the tree of life but in a way that celebrates our own uniqueness.  Each leaf brings nourishment of sun and moisture to its parent and as humans, it is our responsibility to feed humanity – to be of value to others.  When we choose to fit in with all the other leaves on the tree, we surrender a piece of ourselves and ultimately deprive others of the unique qualities we were created with.  Our calling and unique contributions to humanity are surrendered in that moment. 

Be unique.  Recognize that as a leaf on the tree of life, you are very different than those around you, even those connected to the same branch.  Be willing to embrace and celebrate your own differences and those of others.  Together, we are stronger and we advance the cause of humanity.  But always remember that you are connected to the larger tree that is our universe.  As such, you have a responsibility to feed others, but remember to do so in your own unique way.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Painting Over the Dead Cat

A June 18, 2013 article posted to The Denver Channel webpage (www.thedenverchannel.com) featured a tragic piece describing how a road painting crew had literally painted a white road strip over a dead cat.  It seemed to me to be a great metaphor for the human journey for we’ve all had times when we felt as if we’d been run over by life itself.  Later adding insult to injury someone comes along painting over us as if we didn’t exist or matter.

For those of you who are curious, the picture can be found at: http://media.thedenverchannel.com/photo/2013/06/18/road-crew-cat_1371565475709_430966_ver1.0_640_480.jpg

Recall the phrase “I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.”  Life can be like that.  Most of the time we hit bumps and get bruised along the way.  Disappointments, challenges, and simple mistakes are like scrapes and minor cuts along life’s path.  But every so often we make really big mistakes that alter our life and those of others throwing us into the path of oncoming traffic.  Most of the time, it happens because we’ve been mindlessly going along and not paying particular attention to the road ahead.  It’s then that we step into the path of a big truck and find ourselves in critical condition lying in the ditch.  For those fortunate to have loved ones and close friends, they are usually the ones to run to our aid, help stem the bleeding, and stand by our side through the long road of rehabilitation and recovery.  Others are less fortunate and find themselves left alone on the shoulder of the road to suffer.

We all make mistakes – some far worse than others.  It can sometimes feel like we’ve been abandoned and left for dead.  Adding further pain, someone occasionally comes along and mindlessly (or even intentionally) paints over our emotional corpse.  There’s no doubt had we not wandered into danger, we wouldn’t have gotten hit in the first place.  But once the damage is done, it hurts even more when someone paints over you as if you didn’t exist.  The old phrase “don’t kick a man when they’re down” describes it perfectly.  We’ve all seen stories of someone who’s wandered into traffic, gets struck, then others continue to drive by as if nothing happened.  We think to ourselves, how inhumane and insensitive were the drivers who left this person in the middle of the road.  Tragically, the injured person sometimes gets hit again as drivers mindlessly go on their way.  We wonder what would possess others to simply ignore a person in need.  Yet this often happens when mistakes result in severe emotional injury.  We are all so self-absorbed in our own lives and the crap we’re personally dealing with that we ignore someone in deep need of our help.

It reminds of a tragic accident outside the small town I grew up in years ago.  Someone had just purchased a new car equipped with a new technology – cruise control.  This person had set the cruise just north of town and mindlessly left the wheel to retrieve something in the back seat when suddenly the car left the road and rolled seriously injuring the driver and his passenger.  You see, we often put our lives on cruise control but forget we still have to drive.  Drifting along in our daily routine we fail to keep our eyes on the road and safely guide ourselves.  We take things for granted and in our absent-minded stupor, we find ourselves rolling off the road injuring ourselves and everyone else with us.  We may also find ourselves wandering out into the path of speeding vehicles then try to blame others for getting hit.  Being mindful is a life skill we can’t take for granted. 

Consequences and pain are an invaluable component of the human journey.  None of us enjoys it, but we learn and move on with our lives wiser and hopefully determined not to wander into traffic again or leave our life unattended on cruise control.  Physical and emotional pain has much in common.  As a child, you may have learned not to touch a hot stove by getting burned.  The body reacts to things that can cause damage and harm in ways that trains us to avoid the danger in the future.  Emotional pain functions the same way.  You figuratively wander into oncoming traffic, get struck, and realize how stupid that was.  It’s at this point though you hope those that care about you will pull over and help, but it doesn’t always work that way.  Sometimes, someone comes along behind you and simply paints right over you.

Over thirty years ago we had a small dog.  Cute as a button and loveable, he wandered into the street one day only to have someone swerve and intentionally hit him – he perished immediately.  There are people like that who relish the thought of inflicting pain on others.  But usually, the pain comes from an error in judgment or self-inflicted mistake and we’re often not alone.  Our words and actions often draw others into the path of danger with us.  Sometimes they run into the street to protect us and sometimes they dodge oncoming traffic to get to us when we’re down.  Regardless, human errors are rarely experienced alone.  It’s when those you depend on and love decide to paint over your emotionally dying life that inflicts even greater suffering.

Chances are, the cat in this story didn’t survive the initial collision.  Yet it suffered the indignity of others simply ignoring it.  We have an obligation as a member of the human race to pull over when we see someone injured and attend to their health and safety.  Some administer first aid and others are there to help pick up the pieces and work through recovery.  It goes both ways.  Sometimes we are the ones who stepped into traffic and need the love and concern of others to help save us.  Other times, it is we who are called upon to attend to the needs of someone else.  The human journey is filled with obstacles.  We don’t always make wise decisions.  There is always time later to reflect upon the error of your ways when someone stepped into traffic; those are lessons we each need to learn.  Yet the moment of deep pain lying by the side of the road profusely bleeding is not the time to blame someone for having been so mindless.  The value of every human life demands we stop, render aid, and help the injured recover.  Over time and after healing there will be opportunities to reflect upon the mistakes made and hopefully learn life’s lessons not repeat them.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Be Who You Are

Events of late have overwhelmed me with the realization that we spend entirely too much of our lives trying to be everything else or someone else instead of simply being who we are.  Sometimes it’s really refreshing to strip away all the ‘junk’ in our lives and examine the fundamental truth as to why we are here.  There is something magical about simplicity that allows you to focus on the few things that stand out most in your life.  

Unfortunately, this process is often accompanied with a set of painful realities – namely that we allowed ourselves to be on a path to ‘nowhere’ for too long.

In my own journey I have wandered looking for that “life purpose” giving me the peace that comes from truly knowing why one is here.  It has been an elusive critter, wary of the light, always darting around bushes and hiding in corners.  An occasional glimpse was all I seemed to ever get.  Several years ago as part of a leadership course, that elusive purpose started to unfold before me.  With the help of some loving friends, it started to come into focus and there was a moment of great joy.  Aha! I finally had it in my hands.  Holding it tightly, I was determined not to ever let it go and to live the rest of my life in complete alignment with it.

But alas it was not to be! LOL.  The more I looked at this ‘monument’ I had now taken possession of, the more it appeared to change.  Once again, it started to elude me like smoke in your hands.  I started to discover even deeper dimensions I had not seen nor anticipated.  My life purpose wasn’t static, it continued to evolve and change; and with it, my own priorities, dreams, and hopes.  Many mornings I awoke to curse this knowledge.  Why couldn’t I be like a robot, turning the crank each day in a habit of work, play, socializing, sleeping, eating, and then doing it all over again?  Why did I allow myself to be plagued by this seemingly incessant chatter calling me to something more?  I’ve heard it said that many live their lives in quiet desperation.  There have been days I would have willingly accepted that over the turmoil.

But as humans, we are incredibly unique.  We aren’t meant to arrive, drift through life aimlessly, then exit quietly to float into some eternal abyss.  Our lives are meant to be creative.  We are co-creators and the world we live in needs each of us.  And like most creative processes, it’s often messy and filled with disappointing failures.  When humans connect though, the power of creativity cannot be denied.  There is something very special about the power of human connection – something that transcends all the chatter or the mundane rhythm of daily life.  I live in and with the belief in its profound power; the power of human connection.  We are connected with one another in a dance of creative glory that seeks nothing more than to elevate, to advance the human condition, to be the bearers of love.  To be keenly aware of this privilege and calling shouldn’t be a burden; it should be a call to openness and action. 

When you extend that realization of connection even further, you glimpse into the immenseness that is the power of the universe.  It’s easy to trip up over ourselves – after all, our minds lead us to believe only what we can see.  But imagine yourself a simple atom in an ocean of other sentient beings all interacting with each other in a creative symphony generating love’s energy.  For that is precisely what is going on.  We can’t remove ourselves from the universe’s vast and limitless ocean.  But we can allow ourselves to float aimlessly bumping into other atoms with little care or concern.  It’s like a person walking down the street distracted on their phone and running into other people.  We can be so self-absorbed that we completely miss the continuous flow of gifts that are other people flowing through our lives.  It’s only when we raise our awareness that those encounters become meaningful and creative.

Most recently, I have been challenged deeply on this basic truth.  Some people pass through your life in brief bursts and others come and stay for a while.  Each encounter comes as a wrapped gift box and it’s your choice whether or not to open it.  It’s very rare I turn away a gift.  I’m generally impatient and like a young child with a present I have a tendency to rip the paper off and open it as quickly as possible.  My deep belief in the power of human connection and the energy of love that comes with it drives me to dive in instead of testing the waters.  People experience me through an often-unexpected amount openness and transparency; I don’t hide much – it’s not in my ‘DNA’.  For some, this can all come as somewhat overwhelming while others embrace it and the creative dance unfolds naturally before us.  I have painfully learned that not everyone that enters my life is interested or willing to ‘connect’ in the same way, but I’m unwilling to quit trying.  Each rejection is bitter-sweet for I hope that in every encounter, I have left my loving footprint in their lives in a way that will someday bring them joy even if it's not recognized at the time and even if I'm not there to share in it.  And in those instances where the connection has time to grow, I find peace and satisfaction that together, we collaborated in creating something of great beauty.

There are lessons to be learned in each human encounter.  The one I keep getting thrown at me is patience.  The fact this particular lesson keeps getting delivered means I haven’t figured it out yet.  The other is personal freedom.  Love and connection cannot be coerced no matter how strongly you may want it to be.  I have to remind myself that each person passing into my life comes with their own unique qualities, needs, wants, dreams, and purpose.  They need to be allowed to 'be who they are' just like I need to be who I am.  Joy comes when you learn to patiently stitch them together co-creating something greater than each individual could otherwise do on their own.  I used to do jazz improv and it’s very similar.  Each person is ‘making it up as they go’ bringing their unique talent, rhythm, and style to the piece, but when you step back and listen to it as a whole, it sounds marvelous – it makes perfect sense and there is harmony.  

This certainly isn’t the first time my own journey has drawn me to what appears to be a precipice. Each time the fear of what lies beyond causes hesitation not knowing if the next step allows me to fall helplessly or to soar like a beautiful bird.  This is part of the human process and being fully aware of its presence is an invitation not a curse.  Sometimes when you take that next step, you fall for a considerable distance before the wind beneath your wings begins to lift you.  It’s probably no different than the baby bird being pushed from its nest.  Sooner or later though you figure out how to spread those wings and glide joyfully on the breeze of life.

I have to remind myself to be truly grateful for each person that touches my life including those whose touch can be painful.  Finding the joy in each encounter is what life is all about.  And as co-creators of our universe, it is my responsibility to reverence the immense power of human connection and not take it for granted; because if I don’t, the journey through this life will be awfully lonely.  To each of you who have touched my life, thank you for your gifts.  I cherish them and always will.  And for those I’ve not had the privilege of connecting with yet, let the creativity begin!

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Morning Kisses

Our lives are connected in a deep and profound way to the rhythm of the universe.  Its energy breathes life into each new day.  Contemplating its source has always been a catalyst of curiosity and challenge for me.  From whence does this energy come?  How are we connected to all that is around us?  And probably most significant, what do those connections tell us about our place in the universe?  The sunrise often draws me back to these fundamental questions; questions about the meaning of life and our individual purposes here on this planet.  Each delicate ray of sunshine is like a loving kiss in the morning awakening me

to contemplate once more the meaning of why I am here.

I try to wake before the sun greets the day.  For me, the rising sun is a magical event that I never tire of.  At the very moment energy from the glowing orb begins to touch everything, my mind and heart are drawn to an overwhelming sense of contentment and contemplation.  First a light glow and then a glorious explosion of light, the arrival of the sun signals hope.  Each drop of the sun’s rays gently touches everything in its path.  Like the human kiss offered in love connecting two people together in a deep exchange of energy, the sun offers its touch of love to the entire planet without prejudice or preconditions.

Compare for a moment the life-giving energy of the sun to the human heart.  When people connect deeply at the heart level, it generates a burst of energy that feeds the soul in the same way the sun’s rise each day prompts an explosion of warmth and growth.  People deeply connected to each other are nourished in the same way as the sun’s rays serve the planet.  That’s why two people in love feel ‘connected’ in their hearts; there is real energy in the connection and  just because it cannot be seen doesn’t mean it isn’t real.  For instance, we don’t see electricity flowing through the outlet yet don’t doubt its existence.  Why then conclude that love’s connective energy is nothing more than a ‘feeling’?  

The sun is a reliable source without bias.  It shines on all in equal measure.  The sun doesn’t decide that some creatures and living beings are given more than others.  The sun’s energy is freely offered and life draws precisely what it needs from it.  Unlike other things in nature, humans have the ability to choose how the energy of love and connection are used.  As humans, the energy of love and the power to 'control' it can be as easily used to destroy another as it can to uplift them.  Humans have inflicted great pain upon others in the name of love.  What makes human connection unique is the power of intention and heart. 

The act of “loving” another is to risk exposing one’s self.  In vulnerability, we learn to trust and it is trust that is the carrier of love from one to another.  Where trust is absent, love has no means of transport – it is stuck in place.  Think about that for a moment.  In your own experience, have you ever had a deep connection with someone where there was no trust?  It matters not if a relationship is romantic or simply a deep friendship, trust is a key nutrient for connection.  The easiest way for one human to inflict pain on another is to cause destruction of trust in a relationship.  Whether intentional or not, when trust goes, so does the connection.

Another element is exposure.  When we open ourselves to another, the light illuminates what may have been hidden.  Like much of life itself, love cannot grow in the dark.  As the Bible states ‘don’t hide your light under a basket’.  Trust and exposure go hand-in-hand and you can’t have one without the other.  In exposing oneself to another, you are willing to be vulnerable; you trust the other with your weakness.  Remember the game of trust where one person stands with their back to another and is asked to close their eyes and “trust” their partner to catch them as they fall backward?  This is what it’s like to expose yourself in a way that places your wellbeing into the hands of another.

Connection and love must first start though within and this is often the most difficult and painful realization.  As humans, we cannot give what we don’t possess.  If you fail to respect and love yourself, any expression of love you offer another lacks sincerity.  It’s only when we have grounded ourselves in a conviction that we each are unique and special, that we then have something of substance to offer another.  To ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ is a deeply profound truth often dismissed as cliché.  Yet this is precisely the path we each must follow.  To love oneself require us to know oneself.  And living out our journey in denial of our true self brings sorrow and pain.  How often have we made choices based on what we thought others would want?  And the longer we remain stuck in those patterns, the more difficult it becomes for everyone involved. 

What can make this inward journey painful is that it can be interpreted as a very selfish act.  Our society and norms tell us that being “self-centered” is really bad and when we ‘think only of ourself’ that we are less loving, less compassionate, less human.  So we succumb to the pressure and stay the course only to be reminded on a frequent basis we are living a lie or at a minimum, denying our higher potential.  I know how much I’ve struggled with this element of the human journey.  The paradox that is often so hard to embrace is that if you don’t love yourself, everything else is fake.  Especially in Western culture, love is viewed as external – it is what we give to another.  Yet love is a flame kept burning from the inside, not something that comes to us.  Yes, when someone expresses love toward us, it can further increase its energy, but how many times has someone tried to express love to you and you rejected it?  Whether you felt unworthy or distracted, love’s energy directed toward us must have a willing receptacle. 

I live in the deep belief of the power of human connection.  But in order for that credo to be real in my own life, I must first come to love myself.  The more I come to love myself – to be comfortable in my own skin – the greater the source of energy I can extend in connection with others.  Accept that you are special, unique, and here for a purpose.  Love what’s inside first.  If you want to give much, make sure you have filled your bank.  When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman about a wellspring forever flowing with water, he was speaking to the potential she possessed within herself.  Tap into that source and allow the power of human connection to transform your life.  And next time when the sun's beams offer gentle kisses perhaps it will remind you to first let its energy penetrate within, warm your heart, then burst forth in radiant connection with others.  

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Balancing Fun with Business

Another year and the squirrels that frequent our backyard have an expanded family.  Their balance of sustenance and play is a source of great joy and reflection for me.  The adults and youth from the litter chase each other in complete abandonment chirping away as they run around.  The activity is sometimes so hectic it appears as if a riot has erupted.

The phrase 'squirreling around' often refers to times when play has no real intent or objective in mind - it's simply play.  I'm reminded of this as I sit in my backyard watching this family of squirrels engage in a daily dose of play.  They are fascinating as they seemingly have no care in the world immersed in pure entertainment and enjoyment.  This daily ritual allows me to reflect on what these squirrels seem to know that I have forgotten - namely, that life is meant to have regular moments of simple, playful fun.

In our busy lives, it often feels like we're more like the serious squirrels when they're busy gathering food, scurrying around (almost frantically) taking care of business and being incredibly focused on the 'job at hand'.  Yes, there is a serious side to these creatures as they work to survive.  Yet they also don't forget to make time to play.  It seems their's is a life in balance and in what seems to come naturally for them.  Life becomes drudgery when we let ourselves get so tied up in 'taking care of business' that we neglect to make time for pure enjoyment.  What's worse is how easy it is for drudgery to become a self-perpetuating cycle becoming increasingly difficult to break out of.

My squirrel friends remind me that there is a time where meeting one's needs must also be attended to.  When they're not romping around, they can be found eating, gathering food, and 'taking care of business'.   For me, these furry friends have become a daily lesson in equilibrium and presence.  I am keenly aware of the need to scurry around as I create a sustainable income for my family.  Like the busy squirrels, there is a time to take care of business.  However, I hope my friends remain around to regularly remind me that balance is the foundation for happiness and that I need to make time on a regular basis to simply squirrel around.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com