Bending Under Pressure

The last few days have been particularly windy.  With the leaves now fully opened, the trees have taken a persistent beating.  I watched our large cottonwoods flexing and straining under the strong gusts and contemplated.  The winds in our own lives can put us under tremendous stress.  What determines whether we bend or break?

Nature is one of my greatest teachers.  Taking the time to ponder the wisdom in the natural world keeps me grounded and connected.  As I contemplated on the strength and flexibility of the large trees being tormented by fierce winds, I was drawn to their trunks and roots.  In our lives just as in nature, the depth of our roots has a significant affect on our ability to weather storms.  Our human roots consist largely of values and the deeper and more solid they are the more likely we bend but not break.

Building strong roots is essential to sustaining life.  Roots are often overlooked because they are generally not seen.  The decisions we make create effects, but it is the root of those decisions (our values) that determine the quality of those actions.  Healthy roots anchor us and ensure that the winds above don’t topple and destroy us.  In the event that branches above us snap, it is our root values that push life back into the broken pieces allowing us to recover.  When we ignore our roots, the process of death has begun, rotting us from the inside up and out.  Ignore roots at your peril.

The trunk is equally important.  A trunk too rigid is prone to snap under pressure.  Trees have a natural tendency to flex under stress.  In our own lives, the trunk is like the beliefs we hold.  Our beliefs need to be flexible as conditions often change.  We must be willing to bend in the face of competing beliefs.  If we’re too rigid, we face assaults that can snap our foundation.  Think of beliefs you had when younger and what you believe today.  Chances are, there has been tremendous change as life experiences shaped your perception of the world.  A flexible trunk allows you to withstand the elements.

The small branches and leaves that snap in the wind represent those aspects in our lives that required pruning.  After the last several days of strong winds, our yard is littered with leaves and small branches that failed to survive.  The void left by a broken branch makes room for new growth – it is the cycle of life at work.  This pruning is a necessary process designed to remove the weaker elements and preserve the strong.  The small branches and leaves are like our perceptions.  These need to be tested on a regular basis and where necessary, snapped off to make room for stronger, more sustainable views.  Over time, some of those branches become thicker and larger as they survive repeated assaults.

One final reflection is the wind itself.  The last few days have been clear yet the wind’s effects are evident.  Challenges in our lives don’t always come with storm clouds.  The wind is an enigma.  It has neither start nor end.  It can appear suddenly ‘out of thin air’ and just as quickly cease.  The wind, like life itself is unpredictable.  There is little you can do to prepare for it.  The wind is a change agent.  It can bring sufficient force to be destructive or can be subtle enough to bring refreshment.  It reminds me of life itself.  We live in cycles with no real beginning or end.  People can appear in our lives and just as quickly be gone – it happens nearly every day.  Some bring peace and refreshment like the cool breeze on a hot day.  Others come with the ferocity of a tornado.  It’s difficult to anticipate, but we must stand tall and firm rooted in our values and ready to flex under pressure.

The winds of change are always blowing.  Are you caring for your roots?  Is your trunk supple enough to bend?  How strong is your tree of life?

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Don’t Feed the Animals

It is said we are creatures of habit.  As I reflect on my own life, I see many places where habit rules the day.  Whether it’s my morning routine, driving, or any number of other daily tasks, habit enables me to function with efficiency and speed.  But not every habit in my life is healthy or helpful.  There are some things I do without much thought that don’t serve me well.  Why then do I keep feeding them?

A visit to the zoo is a great reminder of the power of habit.  Posted prominently are signs clearly stating “Do Not Feed the Animals”.  These signs are meant to ensure the zoo inhabitants receive only foods designed for proper nutrition.  Junk food and other items only serve to undermine their health and lead to ‘bad habits’ relying on handouts.  The same is true of our personal habits.  The more we feed them, the harder it becomes to stop.  Our habits are like hungry animals constantly seeking out nourishment.  Each time we indulge them they strengthen creating cravings that continually cry out for more.

Habits (good or bad) undermine personal awareness.  Positive habits can help us navigate our daily lives with greater ease.  Yet we become captive to all habits when we lose track of them.  They become like zoo cages keeping us confined to a small space.  We walk through life without challenging the boundaries believing there is safety and comfort within the walls.  Slowly, we lose the instinct of freedom we were born with.  We then go through our days in relative boredom living a routine that offers little excitement or growth.  During occasional moments of insight, we look beyond the bars and wonder “is this all there is?”

Habits (especially bad ones) are like unwanted house guests – we can never get them to leave.  Science is shedding light on why ridding oneself of a habit is so difficult.  Habits create chemical patterns in the brain similar to addiction.  When you choose to stop feeding a habit, it screams out for food.  We can experience symptoms similar to withdrawal as our brain seeks out its fix.  If you give in, it reinforces the brain pattern making subsequent attempts even more difficult.  This is the reason New Year’s resolutions usually fail.  Starving a wayward habit is the only way to break the cycle.  Don’t feed the animals!

Choosing your habits carefully begins with awareness.  An exercise I use on a frequent basis is to make a small change in a very simple habit.  For example, most of us have a morning routine.  We get out of bed, maybe make coffee, read the news, shower, brush teeth, comb hair, etc…  You can probably relate to some or all of these.  I select just one of those routine activities and change it in a small way. Perhaps I change the sequence or start at a different place.  For instance, have you ever observed the sequence you use when you shower?  Chances are, you have a pattern that rarely changes – start there.  In making this small adjustment, bring awareness to the habit.  This exercise enables me to examine other areas in my life where habit lives.  It also reminds me that I’m in control and that simple awareness enables me to change.

Another “trick” I have added to my awareness of habit is to use the mantra “Don’t feed the animals” when I become tempted to entertain a habit I’m trying to rid myself of.  Just as I’m about to succumb to its temptation, I repeat the mantra to increase awareness and remind myself I no longer want this habit.  I may have to repeat it several times with increasing emphasis before the tendency subsides.  It’s also a great way of remembering that I’m in charge. 

We are creatures of habit, but we have the power to choose where and when those habits serve us well.  Awareness allows us to make better choices.  Next time you find yourself in the middle of an unhealthy or unwanted habit, remember – don’t feed the animals!

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

Tribute to Generosity

Generosity can be a difficult trait to find in today’s busy world.  There is one man whose life was defined by this trait and recent events caused me to reflect more deeply on its value and need.  On May 10, 2013, we said goodbye to my father-in-law, a man defined by a life of selfless giving.  Known to most by his nickname “Chic”, he lived his 88 years as a shining example of what generosity truly looks like.  Here was a man whose example has been a challenge to me for over 30 years.

My in-laws both lived their lives giving.  We lost my mother-in-law years ago and even her passing never dampened my father-in-law's willingness to share.  Never once did I see the challenges of aging, financial hardship, or failing health change his spirit.  For years, my in-laws gave freely to those in need.  Whether it was volunteering their time or assisting their children and grandchildren, they never hesitated for a moment to be there.  They always found reserves of strength in giving.  They didn’t have things easy either.  Having started a ranch and tending livestock, their daily lives were hard and the manual labor took a toll on their health.  When they chose to sell the ranch and eventually “retire” to Arizona, it was simply an opportunity to give more.

“Chic” was always the first to lend a helping hand even when it was inconvenient.  He never once weighed the difficulty on himself that would come with his giving.  His generosity has always challenged me.  And there were those that took advantage of him including some closest to him.  Unfortunately for each of them, they now have no way to repay him personally.  My sincerest prayer is his passing will be cause for them to find a way to honor his life by making amends, embracing his spirit, and seeking opportunities to emulate his love of all things living.

I’ve often been perplexed by his selfless and perpetual giving despite disappointment.  People knew they could turn to him and he would willingly give.  I often became angered and upset when it was clear people took him for granted; yet it never dampened his spirit.  Each of these times was a call for me to ponder what special strength he possessed that allowed him to maintain such a positive outlook.  His entire life calls me to a much higher level of generosity.  It is the only way to honor his life.

Thankfully, our world is still full of people like “Chic” if we but look.  These people know that their lives are an eternal testament to the true values that make us human.  As we uttered our goodbyes on Friday in the waning moments of his life when he could no longer speak, it was our turn to thank him once again for an example we should all find ourselves worthy to emulate.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com