Cultivating Mindful Leaders

One topic I am passionate about is growing future leaders.  Having worked in large corporations over several decades, I have been repeatedly disappointed at how little attention is paid to selecting, nurturing, and building leaders.  The habits and behaviors, attitudes and philosophy new leaders establish when they experience their very first position as a supervisor or team lead usually cement in place the type of leader they will become.  Unfortunately, people are often selected for their technical competence with little thought given to their preparedness to lead.  Worse still is they are rarely given the time and attention, coaching and mentoring, critical to building the skills necessary to become truly great leaders.

Of all the qualities that seems to be lacking in leadership today, mindfulness is at the top of my list.  For me, the quality of mindfulness is the very foundation on which other skills should be built.  Mindfulness is like the still waters that run deep.  There is tremendous energy beneath the surface yet the mindful leader maintains a sense of calm around them.  The mindful leader brings strength and confidence without creating confusion and chaos.  Mindfulness is the by-product of awareness, and when people are aware (they are sensitive to) of who they truly are and what is going on around them, they make better decisions, treat others with greater respect, and take into account innumerable factors that others would easily miss or overlook.  Mindfulness requires an individual to be in touch with how their ego affects their actions and they take steps to avoid decisions where it's their ego that is leading instead of their true self.  Authenticity is another by-product of awareness.  They are consistently the same person regardless of situation and their words can be counted on to align with their actions.  Leaders mindful of who they are exercise greater respect for the views of others and aren't intimidated by alternative viewpoints.  They respect each person as a uniquely equipped individual with particular talents that when combined with others, can generate great results.  Mindful leaders are construction specialists.  They build other people and through building others, they help to create great organizations.

So why is it then that organizations choose to largely ignore newly-selected leaders?  Some continue to believe that leaders are born, not cultivated and they leave it up to chance that the new leader will pick it up as they grow.  Instead, what most of these people pick up are the bad habits and behaviors they see in others more senior then they.  Left to themselves, new leaders will surmise that the behaviors they see in those who have gone before and been "successful" must represent what it takes to be great.  Is it any wonder then that when those people achieve higher levels of leadership, they fail?  Remember that the consistently #1 reason why people leave a company is their manager, and those habits and behaviors were likely established when they were a new leader.  In my experience, mindful leaders are able to retain great talent because people know they are valued and treated fairly.  If you're trying to build a high performance organization then, you need to have a substantial supply of mindful leaders.  We are what we teach, and so if you want truly great leaders, you must start today to cultivate the values and behaviors you want in the future.

What happens all too often in most organizations is that new leaders are given few tools and support, and what they do receive is often focused on compliance and policy versus personal growth.  And even companies that may have initially supported their new leaders with personal development resources, quickly jettison them when financial difficulties arise.  A friend of mine who specializes in mindful coaching was recently notified by a very large, well-known IT company that his services would no longer be paid for by the company due to budget constraints.  So new leaders get help in ensuring HR compliant performance reviews are completed, company policies are understood and followed, and project performance metrics are collected and reported on time, but they are left on their own when it comes to developing personal awareness and development.  While it's not the company's sole responsibility to provide this support, it is the environment they create, the mentoring and coaching they provide, and the resources they make available that ultimately determine the success or failure of a leader, and by extension, the company itself.

I would encourage you therefore to build mindful leaders.  Make it a point to carefully select new leaders not based entirely on how competent they are, but also the qualities you observe in how they treat others, the degree of empathy they exhibit, how they support their colleagues, and look for the tell-tale signs of awareness.  From there, focus on building those attributes and deliberately surround the new leader with coaches and mentors that are themselves mindful.  For leaders already in place, consider doing a leadership reset in your organization to correct past errors when you may have promoted someone who really wasn't ready or lacked the qualities of mindfulness.  Finally, where it becomes necessary, replace leaders who aren't willing to focus on becoming more mindful.  You will be doing your organization, employees, and the individual a great favor in the long run.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action.

Relish the Valleys in Your Life

Hiking in Wyoming - my High School years

I’ve spent most of my life in the Rocky Mountains.  The beauty and awesome sight of being surrounded by majestic peaks is a source of great inspiration and peace for me.  I’ve never grown tired of looking up.  Yet very few people live on mountaintops.  In fact, most of us spend the majority of our lives down in the valley making only periodic trips above timberline to take in the view.  How true this is for our own personal journeys.  It seems we spend our lives yearning to be on top of the world yet find ourselves spending most of our time down in the valley. 

It’s the valleys in our lives though where we get most of our nourishment.  Without them our lives would be void of so much.  If you’ve ever spent time above timberline you will know that it’s often barren and you have to look closely to find life growing among the rocks, snow, and wind.  It’s the valley where nourishment is found and where we prepare for the periodic hikes to the top.  Valleys are often lush with food and shelter.  When we do journey to the higher places, we can regain our bearing and perspective and the accomplishment of reaching the peak is more satisfying.  Being on top is beautiful without a doubt providing solitude and a sense of awe, but I know of no one who lives year-round on the peaks of life (although I’m sure there are a few).  Our personal journeys to the top are often brief despite all the time and energy expended to get there.  But I find it’s the valley where I spend most of my time and I’ve grown to honor and love the peace and nourishment that comes from being down below.  I appreciate the peaks so much more and draw greater energy from the view while realizing I can’t stay forever.

The interesting thing about being on the top is that despite your plans, you’re often chased down sooner than you had hoped.  In the Rocky Mountains we have a saying that if you don’t like the weather then wait five minutes.  I’ve been chased off many a mountain by a sudden storm.  A ferocious wind emerges, temperatures drop, lightening flashes, and it can start to snow in just a few moments.  The same is true in our lives and in the organizations we work in.  Those victory moments are often short-lived as we’re chased down by a quick change of the weather.  Peaks aren’t meant to be forever experiences.   Peaks are there to inspire us onward on this journey of life.  It often seems that just when you settle in to enjoy the view below, you get chased away by a sudden storm.  Scrambling down off a peak in the midst of a storm is frightening until you reach the safety of the timber down below.

Leadership is often accompanied by that same feeling of being alone at the top looking down on the world around.  Leaders realize that climbing peaks requires great strength, persistence, and determination.  It also requires a fit body nourished and prepared for the arduous journey, and it's your responsibility to get everyone to the top and back down safely.  But when you’re in the midst of deep timber it’s often hard to see where you’re going.  It can sometimes be frustrating and anxious to be surrounded by trees not realizing exactly where you are.  Growing up in Wyoming, I can recall times (too numerous to count) where I was easily disoriented among the trees and rocks around me.  When that happened, my inclination was to climb high enough to see where I was at, chart a new path then back down again to continue my journey.  As a leader, when you and the team become lost or disoriented, it's your task to climb high enough to see where you're at and to adjust your trail to get everyone back on track.  That means that as a leader, you must always be in top shape!

I have learned as a sojourner to relish my time in the valleys of life.  To sit quietly by a bubbling stream, to smell the fresh pine around me, to hear the birds sing and watch the deer and elk graze.  I also enjoy climbing and the exhilaration of standing on the top.  It’s often been asked why people do things that require such great strength and energy to which they reply because it’s there.  I know as a leader that I must periodically make the effort to climb high enough to view the landscape around so I can chart the next phase of the journey for the team and myself.  And when you have the privilege of leading a group to the top, it’s an amazing feeling.  Just keep in mind you can’t stay there for long.  Learn to enjoy the lowlands in your life.  Draw strength, peace, and nourishment from them so you're ready to climb when the opportunity arises.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action.

Rolling through Life’s Stop Signs

There is an intersection behind our home that has stop signs on two of the directions across a main road.  It’s amazing to me to watch as motorists coming from the directions with the stop signs routinely slow but then roll completely through without stopping; some in fact hardly slow down at all.  There have been many a close encounter as people seem to ignore the warning or fail to yield to those with the right of way.

There’s an interesting parallel for me between those motorists and people that simply roll through the stop signs of life.  How often in our busy lives we ignore the warning signs that tell us to slow down, come to a complete stop, yield to oncoming traffic then proceed only when the way is safe.  Life like driving is full of caution signs designed to keep others and ourselves safe, yet we seem to routinely ignore them or we’re so caught up in ourselves that we don’t even notice them.  People not paying attention and running headlong into an intersection often cause accidents and put others and themselves in harm’s way.  People who ignore life’s warning signs likewise can end up ruining lives, most often their own.

Life is full of warning signs like listening to our bodies when they tell us to slow down or stop because what we are doing is causing harm.  In our relationships, we often dismiss words from others as nagging instead of interpreting them as warnings that what we are doing is damaging.  I know I have been guilty all too often of blowing off the concerns from my wife with a “yeah-yeah” response when she is saying, slow down, pay attention, and love me.  In organizations, managers quickly throw aside an employee’s comments as complaining or whining instead of pausing long enough to assess if there is a real problem to be addressed.  Yet like the myriad of traffic signals and signs on the roads we travel, we may skate by for a while ignoring them, but sooner or later we’re bound to get caught either by an observant police official or worse, an accident.  Life has a way of grabbing our attention sooner or later.

We all have times in our lives when we’re so preoccupied with what’s happening to us that we easily miss the signals.  It’s when we believe that our own time is too precious, that we’re too busy, or that we’re too 'important' to yield (the sign is meant for the other people, not me), that we become truly dangerous on the road of life.  We’ve all seen people like that on the highway behaving as if ‘their’ purpose is higher than the safety of others around them.  Such recklessness needlessly rattles and irritates others as well as puts everyone in danger.  Managers can be just like that and create a path of destruction where employees are simply scrambling to get out of their way.  In extreme examples, ‘road rage’ can become deadly.  I’ve seen far too many organizations where the environment created by a manager or team is so toxic, that lives are destroyed or damaged beyond repair; the vehicle has been totaled. 

Being an attentive driver and respecting others on the road is not only a legal obligation, it speaks clearly of your concern and respect for others.  Road signs are there to remind us to be safe and guide us on our journey so we arrive without harm and without harming others.  When we are mindful and alert in life, we are more likely to notice the signs before us and heed their warning.  Ignoring life’s traffic signs is a sure way to put others and ourselves at risk.  So next time you roll up to a stop sign, take the time to come to a complete stop, carefully observe your surroundings, then proceed once it’s safe to do so.  If you can do so while you’re on the road, perhaps that habit will rub off on your personal life and you’ll be less likely to ignore the signs when they appear.

Resiliency: A Radical Redefining for Turbulent Times

I'm sharing this article below from Eileen McDargh with her permission.  Eileen's contact information can be found at the end.

Consider some events of this decade:


The stock market gyrates with unpredictable and heartburning results. Icons of solid companies become straw figures before balance sheets. Children are abducted from their front yards and networks of terrorists spiral throughout the world. Religious institutions cast shadows of duplicity while El Nino brings strange fish to the California coasts. Out-of-control fires gulp huge swaths of Texas.  Tornadoes rip through the Midwest and South. A tsunami of apocalyptic proportions devastates the northeast coast of Japan. 


It’s enough to cause all of us to stand like the proverbial “deer in headlights”, mutter “the sky is falling”, or else spring into action. The latter would be fine but it’s often a knee-jerk response based on what we’ve done in the past. The trouble is that the present doesn’t look like the past.
Whether you’re leading a Fortune 100 company, a small department, or an enterprise of one—whether you are trying to reinvent your career, launch a new product, or juggle the demands of aging parents and children, resiliency skills have never been more important: radical resiliency.

FIRST: Define the terms.


Throw the dictionary definition away. In 1824, Webster defined resilience as: “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.”  That definition works for explaining metal but not for the mettle of the human system or an organization. This very definition gives rise to the popular two-word definition: “Bounce back.”
No! Not! Never! Going back to an original state might feel comfortable but it denies the very opportunity of personal and organizational growth. In a constantly changing world, returning to old habits, old structures, and old behaviors can actually be counter-productive.


Second, Webster’s very definition implies that resilience is needed only in the time of stress, of crisis or a bad situation. Not so.


I define resilience as: “The capability to GROW THROUGH adversity or opportunity so that one becomes wiser, stronger and better able to create a sustainable future.” Now, throw in the word “radical” which means extreme. “Extreme” resiliency means one is willing to turn right when everyone else turns left. It implies courage, tenacity, and taking the uncharted course.  For an individual, it also means listening deeply to one’s inner voice rather than the chorus that surrounds you.


SECOND: Develop the skill of adaptability.


Adaptability is predicated on finding multiple responses to any given situation. It is foundational for resilience and literally rests upon our ability to challenge old ways of doing things, to actively seek different viewpoints, to beware of sacred cows, and to know that solutions can come from anywhere or any one.


Adaptability requires one to challenge common knowledge. The critical questions are: Why? What if? Who said so?


When a leader and her followers begin to ask why something happens a specific way and dig at least five layers down, many startling discoveries can be made.  For example, years ago Ameritech had an employee who spent 3 full days a month creating a quite extensive report for wide distribution.  Then the question was asked, “Why are we doing this?”  “Who reads it?”  They discovered that few read it and of the ones who did, only a few pages were relevant. 


Courage comes into play when we own up to our own reluctance to look for personal and professional blind spots.   The very person we don’t want to listen to might be the very person with that one critical idea. Might I suggest that leaders look for guide dogs.  Guide dogs lead the blind safely through many life situations and often, despite the owner’s insistence, refuse to do certain things because the guide dog senses danger. In short, the guide dog is the one who really SEES what is going on.  Every organization has people on the ground, people who “see” what is happening. Unfortunately, management can be too removed to even consider asking for input. I spoke to an operator at a steel plant who was just weeks from retirement.  He had many ideas to improve the plant but said management was not interested in talking to him.


Adaptability also requires a change of heart, an ability to work on intelligent optimism, reframing what is possible rather than what is impossible. For example, a road crew drilling through a mountain discovered a fresh water spring, such an occurrence can wreck havoc in trying to complete the road. However, this company decided to divert the spring and now sells bottled water while, at the same time, completing the road. That’s reframing.


Pauline just lost her husband Bill, a brilliant nuclear physicist, who could not even form coherent sentences because of the ravages of Alzheimer’s. Pauline’s comment was, “At least he is at peace and his brilliant brain might offer some clues for researchers.”  Reframing.
Adaptability is about thinking and feeling. Agility, on the other hand, is about action and movement.


THIRD: Develop the skill of agility.


Agility is the ability to move quickly and easily. It implies nimbleness, flexibility and speed. It is one thing to intellectually create multiple actions. It is another thing to move forward. Action is the antidote for anxiety.


The trick is to move wisely. Analysis paralysis might take over. Instead, the resilient individual and organization figures what small steps can gain a foothold. There’s ample feedback while actions are taken. Rewards center on the willingness to act, to take risks, and to share results.
Action also looks at physical action. In short, care of the human body. Exercise, sleep, nutrition demand attention in growing through challenge or opportunity. Sometimes, the greatest step one can take is to sleep. Refreshed, the mind has a better chance at being creative and innovative.


Sometimes, when faced with a feeling of powerlessness, doing anything that gives a sense of control can be immensely beneficial. One woman, when fired from her job of 30 years, created a network group at her church for people looking for work.  Another company, caught in the grip of the recession, pulled employees together to explore how costs could be cut without cutting people. Some employees volunteered to work part time so that those with less financial resources could continue.


FOURTH: Develop the skill of laugh-ability


Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” It is also the shortest distance between your brain and your body. The ability to find humor and generate a sense of playfulness actually increases creativity. Laughter separates the serious from the trivial, the trite from the tremendous.


Recall the Chilean mine disaster. Against all odds, these men survived, adaptability (multiple rescue methods and listening to many experts) and agility were paramount.  And they also employed laugh-ability, or at least a way to keep a sense of humor about this very serious predicament.  When a camera was lowered into the mine, one miner gave a tour of their “home”, showing a table where they played cards and held meetings.  At the end of the video, the trapped men burst into a hearty rendition of the national anthem. In short, the men took control where they could, added some spirit to the horror of being trapped, and—as a waiting world discovered, kept everyone alive until rescue.
Play belongs in the realm of laugh-ability. It was the jester of old who spoke the truth in a non-threatening way by using humor and play. Free-form play and improvisation not only break barriers but open up a world of potential ways to handle situations.


 “Play is the exultation of the possible” - Martin Buber.


 FIFTH: Develop the skill of alignment


In 2008, I trekked a portion of the remote western Indian Himalayas, visiting villages as well as ancient monasteries. These still-standing structures, looking fragile in a terrain of rock and stone scoured by wind, rain and snows, have survived because of one thing: they are built on bedrock. The main buildings are lined up on the strongest part of the mountain.


To remain standing, humans too need bedrock. As Viktor Frankel stated, “Man can survive any what if he has a why.”Resilient people and individuals have a reason greater than themselves for keeping on. Whether a child to raise, a song to sing, a book to write, or a community to protect, there is a sense that something or someone matters. That alignment guides adaptability.


SIXTH: Look for what energizes.


Lastly, the current that flows through all these skills is human energy. Energy is the result of meaningful connections that add the spark of potential and possibility, the catalyst for forward momentum. Think of this as a DNA molecule in which energy is the thread that weaves through all four skills and, in turn, generates more energy as it crosses.

© 2012, McDargh Communications.  Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.

Eileen McDargh is a Hall of Fame speaker, business consultant and top thought-leader in leadership.  Visit http://www.eileenmcdargh.com for more information.

Tending Life's Garden

One of the most relaxing and soul-nourishing things for me is working in the garden.  I enjoy getting dirt under my nails, marveling at how fast things grow, and watching the small insects as they scurry around.  I especially enjoy watching the honey bees as they jump from petal to petal or the hummingbirds as they zip around in search of nectar.  A quiet garden is in reality, a very busy place.

 How we tend a garden is an important factor in what kind of results we get.  If we leave things up to chance allowing Mother Nature to do as she wills, we can be left with a garden full of weeds, malnourished, and as we have seen here in Colorado this year, lacking in water.  On the other hand, a little fertilizer, water, and periodic weeding goes a long way to improving the health of your garden.  Our own lives are like a garden.

How I tend my mind and soul says a lot about the conditions for personal growth and happiness.  First, comes my heart.  Like preparing the soil before planting and tending to it throughout the growing season, a heart that is hard won't support life very well.  Therefore, I need to continue each day to make sure that my heart remains open and ready to accept the water and nourishment that comes its way whether by intention or serendipity.  Second, the fertilizer I use in my life's garden must be free of toxins - in fact, I stick with organic.  For me, daily reading that feeds my mind and soul is no different than the loving care I give to the plants in my garden.  If I want a rich harvest, then the quality of nourishment is a vitally important element.  I need to weed on a regular basis and for me that means frequently examining my habits and behaviors and removing anything that may choke off my growth or crowd out what I really want.  Regular pruning is also important and that requires periodically snipping off parts of the plant in order for it to bear even more fruit later.  Pruning in life's garden is all about letting go even of things which may be positive or produce joy in exchange for something even greater down the road.  The last component in my life's garden is the serendipity of Nature's periodic rain and of course lots of sun.  Sometimes, we don't have to do anything and we benefit.  But keep in mind, if you do none of the things to prepare life's garden for those moments of pure gift, then most of the benefit will simply run off rather than be absorbed.

So next time you're out in your yard or walking through a park or garden enjoying the solitude and beauty of your surroundings, keep in mind that it probably didn't get that way by accident.  Someone has taken the time to care for it.  Are you doing the same for yourself?

The Death of Curiosity and Critical Thinking

I remember vividly when my oldest daughter was 4 years old and she was in a phase where everything she encountered was greeted with the question “why” and her curiosity about all things was a constant presence in our lives.  At times, the perpetual drumbeat of “why, why, why” drove me crazy, but I admired (with a high degree of patience) her quest to discover and learn.  Best of all, as an adult now, she hasn’t lost that curiosity.  How often though we grow out of that phase rarely to return to it.  I have been gifted with a spirit of perpetual curiosity, but I’m saddened that I don’t see that spirit as often in other people, both young and old.  What causes us to lose or grow out of that childhood phase where everything in life is a new discovery?

I’ve also been reflecting on the apparent lack of critical thinking in the organizations I work with.  It’s as if people are either unable or unwilling to embrace a situation with a spirit of discovery or a willingness to question the conventional.  In talking with numerous executives in business, they also seem to share the same experience, namely that people no longer regularly use the wonderful and mystical power of the mind, to solve today’s problems both simple and complex.  When people don’t speak up for whatever reason, the opportunity for learning and exploration is lost.  This is where creativity and critical thinking begins to die.

It appears as if our society is losing its curiosity and with it, the ability to think critically about the world around us.  With so much information (and answers) at our fingertips, its easy to use Wikipedia or a search engine to get an answer rather than trying to solve things on our own.  While this may work fine for simple things, we eventually train ourselves to quit asking the simple “why” question or “how” when faced with a new situation.  Yet the critical thinking part of our minds is like any skill that will languish over time if not exercised.  Based on my own observations and experience, I would conclude we are a society that is rapidly becoming mentally out of shape!

I recently met Frank Kowalski, a physics professor at Colorado School of Mines who has been working on a great project that uses modern tablet technology to improve critical thinking skills in the context of STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) education.  Frank has experienced some of the same challenges while engaging students to get them to think critically and be willing to question what they are being told or what they observe.  In my conversation with him, we reflected on the fact that so many of the world’s most significant scientific breakthroughs have come at the intersection of analysis, critical thinking, and intuition.  When people stand back and ponder what mechanisms, forces, and motivation are causing something to occur or when they take a complex issue, break it down and question, analyze, and solve the pieces before putting it all back together, they open the door and have access to that wonderful world of creative thought often present in the form of intuition. 

Yet in today’s world of technology, connectivity, and ubiquitous information access, we are training people to simply reach out to the Internet or a database and grab the answer rather than trying to really solve the problem directly.  Frank described for me experiences where students were ill prepared to solve a problem or afraid to ask critical questions yet could give you the right answer simply by looking it up.  We both mused about whether or not a physics student would notice or even question a professor who changed Newtown’s Law – an interesting experiment indeed.  Nonetheless, his work is focused on trying to find a way to bridge the gap between the power of technology and the social/cognitive skills of curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking.  I’m encouraged and anxious to learn if he will be able to somehow find a way to reignite that childhood need for discovery.

I wonder if in leveraging the power of technology, we have somehow lost touch with the social and cognitive skills critical to creativity.  While social networking technologies have created vast networks of connectivity between people, it has also dramatically changed the dynamics of relationships.  It seems like people are more comfortable asking a question through a computer anonymously than they are raising their hand in class or speaking up in a meeting.  When critical thinking breaks down, so does the ability of any organization to address its most challenging situations.  I believe that critical thinking fueled by a culture of curiosity can be a very transformational force.  So next time someone asks you “why” I encourage you to join the expedition and seek to discover something new.  More importantly, I exhort you to become the chattering "why, why, why" voice in the room and bring others along with you on life's adventure.

Don't Change - Really?

Just the other day, I saw an old Jeep sitting on the side of the road - it had certainly seen better days.  What struck me about the Jeep though wasn't it's condition (in Colorado, there are plenty of beat-up vehicles sitting around) but what was written on the side windows.  Without any context or other telling clues, it said quite simply "Don't Change".

That short message against the backdrop of the old Jeep it was painted on, reminded me of far too many people I know and organizations I've worked with that are often unaware of their aging condition.  Too many people go through life chasing after stability and organizations whose leadership, employees, and culture have accepted the motto Don't Change, seem to be stuck in park on the side of the road.  Yet the only constant in life is change.  Every moment of life is a creatively unique example of change.  Every moment is as unique as a snowflake - no two moments in time are the same no matter how much we may want them to be and you can never replicate the exact same moment.  Just like each of us are completely unique, so is time.  Change makes that possible and perpetual.

I'm reminded of a Jim Carrey movie "Yes Man" where his character comes face-to-face with this thing called change.  This is one of Carrey's favorite movies for me (although I love them all) because in the script, Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) confronts the inevitability of change in a very comical yet serious way.  It always reminds me of the many people I've encountered who are attempting to ensure that life doesn't change.  Saying "yes" to life means to embrace the creative force of change in way that opens oneself to the wonder and excitement that is meant to be life itself.  I feel great empathy for people I know and meet that try each day to make life stand still; to ensure that each day has the quality of 'sameness' that offers security, stability, and familiarity.  But what these people seek is simply an illusion, a mirage in their own minds because the world around them isn't the same as it was a moment ago no matter how much they may want or believe it to be.  How futile to live this way.  It's like trying to keep the sun from rising or make time stand still.

One only has to look for a moment and realize that the instant just past is not the same as the one we are living in.  While the macrocosm of our own life may seem the same, we have aged a bit more in that moment and so much has already changed in the world around us.  No matter how hard you may try, you cannot stop the creative forces of the universe that constantly move forward.  Change is the energy that creation relied upon and is the one thing we can count on to be present NOW.  Why is it then that people and organizations resist change when it's a principle of life?  For the organizations I've worked with, the issue of change seems to be the one they struggle with the most.  Yet if you don't embrace change, it will embrace you often in very uncomfortable and unexpected ways.  To change is to be human and to take an active role in the process of creation.  We learn, grow, and contribute when we chose to participate in change.  It's when we dig our heels in and resist change, that eventually, change has its way with us.  When we live by the credo Don't Change we ultimately end up looking like that beat-up old Jeep left on the side of the road to rust.

Finding Solace in the Fog

I've been reading Jonathan Field's book called Uncertainty lately as it is so relevant to where I'm at in life's journey.  When I took the leap of faith to leave stable employment to pursue my own business and the live the convictions I have about servant-leadership and competition, I took a big step straight into a fog bank of uncertainty.  While many have made this same step before me and I have gained wisdom and solace in reflecting on their experiences, when you step into the fog, it can feel like you are completely on your own.

Interesting thing about fog for me is that when it's so thick you can't see your hand in front of your face, it doesn't seem to matter much knowing you have others near.  Even if they are holding your hand, there can still be some doubt as to if the hand that is holding yours is someone familiar to you or someone (or something) else.  Field's writes that it is however the uncertainty that is truly the sign you are moving into something new and bold - you are pursuing your dream.  Despite how uncomfortable that may make you feel, it is one of the best signals that you're actually on the right path.  He also notes that certainty is a sure sign you aren't pushing yourself into something new.  If you are on a path with a certain outcome, then it's a path that others have trod and your chances of doing something truly great (for yourself, others, our world) are diminished.

Strange thing about being in the fog is that when you feel like you're ready to bolt out of fear or frustration, it's really hard to know in which direction to go.  When you can't see anything around you, a step in the wrong direction can prove to be either one where there is a break in the mist and you can finally see again, or a step off the edge of a cliff.  Not knowing what the outcome of those steps will be often creates even further uncertainty.  I'm reminded of the times when standing in a strange room in pitch black darkness, you begin to cautiously feel your way around moving in small steps exploring each direction until you find something that is either solid or familiar.  That gives you some confidence that in fact you have found a path that will eventually lead to the light switch.

There are some wonderful and beautiful things about standing in the fog though that are often overlooked.  There is stillness in the fog as the moisture has a tendency to absorb noise.  It can give you time to reflect as it hides the distractions and potential chaos around you.  The moisture nourishes as it brings refreshment to plants and other living creatures.  We have all seen morning dew left on the grass and vegetation as those droplets renew life it comes in contact with.  And finally, probably most important thing about fog is that it eventually clears when the sun's warm rays touch it.  I'm reminded of a time very recently when I was present to the lifting fog across a pond as the sun rose.  It was inspiring and I was filled with awe as the once impenetrable blanket slowly gave way to a glorious array of colors.

Living in the fog says a lot about our life's journeys and the paths we have chosen.  Living in a world of certainty takes out the excitement and suspense.  Certainty also prevents us from challenging ourselves and pursuing our dreams.  While no one wants to live in the fog forever, a regular journey into the mist can be exhilarating and nourishing.  And keep in mind that the fog doesn't last forever.  Sooner or later the sun will rise, the fog will lift, and the beauty of what was once unseen begins to unfold before your eyes.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action.

Just Squirreling Around - Revisited

I originally posted the article below in mid-July.  Now that the cooler weather of fall is upon us, I reflected on whether or not my squirrel friends shifted to a pre-winter eating and storing binge and have set play aside.  The fact is, they haven't (at least not yet) and that reminds me that despite adverse weather, they still take the time to enjoy companionship and play around.  It helps me to remember that when facing challenges in my own life, that I must still make the time to relax and seek enjoyment.  Otherwise, the dark, cold days & nights of winter could be a lot more of a challenge and will feel as if it might never end.  So I've included the story in its entirety below because the principles remain the same no matter what personal season you may be in.

Most are familiar with the phrase 'squirreling around' as it usually refers to those times when play has no real intent or objective in mind - it's simply play.  I've been reminded of this frequently of late as I sit in my back yard early each morning after meditating and watch this pair of squirrels engage in a daily dose of play.  They are fascinating to watch as they seemingly have no care in the world and are both immersed in a moment of pure entertainment and enjoyment.  This morning ritual has caused me to reflect more on what these squirrels seem to know that I have forgotten - namely, that life is meant to have regular moments of simply being playful.

In our busy lives, it often feels like we're more like the squirrels when they're busy gathering food, scurrying around (almost frantically) taking care of business and being incredibly focused on the 'job at hand'.  Yes, there is a serious side to these creatures as they work to survive and to prepare at some point for winter's embrace.  Yet they also don't forget to make time to simply play.  It seems their's is a life in balance and there is tremendous wisdom in what seems to come naturally for them.  When we let ourselves get so tied up in 'taking care of business' that we neglect to make time for pure enjoyment, life begins to feel like drudgery.  What's worse is how easy it is for drudgery to become a self-perpetuating cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to break out of.

This insight has been all the more important to me over the last month as I took the leap from an executive position in a large corporation with most likely a very sustainable and stable future, to honor a commitment I made to my wife to return to our home in Colorado.  In doing so, I launched my own business at the same time, taking a leap of faith to chase after my passion.  The freedom I have experienced following my departure has been in a word, playful.  I have felt more like the pair of squirrels I enjoy each morning just chasing each other, jumping from limb to limb, and simply having fun.  These two creatures have helped to remind me of balance, play, and being 'in the moment' each and every day.  It's been a WOW kind of experience thus far for me.

Yet my squirrel friends also remind me that there is also a time where meeting one's needs must also be attended to.  When they're not romping around each morning, they can be found eating, gathering food, and 'taking care of business'.   For me, these furry friends have become a daily lesson in equilibrium and presence.  I am keenly aware of the need to scurry around as I build my business and work hard to create a sustainable income for my family, and like the busy squirrels, there is a time to simply take care of business.  However, I hope my friends remain around to regularly remind me that balance is the foundation for happiness and that I need to make time on a regular basis to simply squirrel around.

More on Lemonade

In my 11 July posting, I reflected on why turning life's lemons into lemonade isn't the wisest path as it leaves you missing out on the more important things you are meant to learn.  I wanted to share a few more thoughts on this point.

I read recently that lemonade is actually not a very healthy way of refreshing yourself.  The amount of sugar added to turn the tangy lemons into that sweet drink is enormous.  That means you're adding unnecessary calories into your diet.  Think for a moment now how that might relate to turning life's challenges into lemonade - you're using sugar to mask the true essence of the lemon and not really transforming the lemons themselves.

When you pour lots of positive into life's mix of challenges, you really end up hiding the true essence of the lesson you are meant to learn, not transforming it into something better.  The sourness is still there, but now just hidden underneath.  We all know that the lessons we fail to learn will always come back to us again either through similar circumstances or disguised in a new challenge.  Every time we fail to embrace them, we kick the can down the road further only to find the can again.

I love lemonade, but I'm also keenly aware that a little lemonade may be fine now and then, but a regular diet will add pounds to my waistline and make me more sluggish and less healthy.  An unhealthy body creates all kinds of other unintended consequences.  The same is true with the mind and spirit.  The more unhealthy you are spiritually, the less prepared you are in the future to overcome life's inevitable challenges.  You won't be able to move quickly, you'll tire more easily, and it's a vicious cycle that only gets worse over time.

As I mentioned in my earlier posting, embracing the real essence of life's lemons allow us to integrate the lessons sooner rather than later.  If your habit is to keep making lemonade out of those circumstances, in the end, you'll end up with a spirit burdened by the weight of your past and unable to navigate the future.

Synchronicity - From the World’s Highest Mountains-Lessons for Leade

I'm attaching below an article by Eileen McDargh.   Eileen is one of those special people who are truly connected and inspirational.  I've found her wisdom to be timeless and soul-building.  With her permission, I've copied the entire piece below.  You can learn more about Eileen at the end of the article.

From the World’s Highest Mountains-Lessons for Leaders

One of Carl Jung’s favorite words was “synchronicity”, that unexplainable convergence of  unplanned events which offer insights and opportunities. When I agreed to join a trekking expedition through two remote provinces of the Indian Himalayas, I had no way of knowing that this adventure would coincide with the publication of my latest book, Gifts from the Mountain- Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities.  Ah, synchronicity!

One of the benefits of being a continual learner is that we are constantly overtaken by ah-hah moments which serve to not only whack us on the side of the head, but also hold lessons which can have universal application for anyone in leadership. The following are but some of the principles gleaned as our group drove along the highest roads in the world and wound up in the regions of Lahual and Spiti which are often closed to the outside world for seven frozen months. They come from trekking with tribesmen herding sheep and goats at elevations up to 16,000 feet and from crossing white water rivers on foot and encountering the Dalia Lama in a remote monastery near the China/Tibet border.

Watch for patterns. Different trees grow at different elevations.

The apple trees of the Kullu Valley  could no more have survived at Rohtang Pass then a trout could swim at the North Pole.  The natural world allows for adaptation but only to a point. As leaders, we must know where we belong, what adaptations we can make, and then how to help those around us find the best match for their growth and abilities.

Ankit Sood, our wise guide, demonstrated this principle during the trek. As the journey became more difficult, he voiced his concern in such a way that it allowed all of us to gracefully examine our skill levels. Four of our party self-selected to not continue when the trekking became more difficult and demanding on both a physical and emotional level.  That’s wisdom and courage on display. Had they continued, it might have caused harm to themselves as well as to the rest of the group. Ankit, as our leader, paved the way for that decision yet was also prepared to take them to a lower elevation had they insisted on continuing.

A leader gives the follower a chance to evaluate his own performance but is also prepared to make the difficult decision of transferring or terminating an employee. When an employee is not able to do the job at hand, it damages the morale and the performance of a team if that employee is left to struggle in work that does not match competency or innate potential.

Expect the unexpected and deal with it.

Change is one thing. The unexpected adversity or opportunity is something else. Great leaders live in the present moment and make decisions based upon what is before them.. As we climbed higher into Spiti, the Himalayan cold semi-desert region that has been described as one of the highest, most remote and inhospitable places on the planet, Ankit learned that the Dalia Lama would be teaching at a monastery in the village of Nako. To venture to Nako meant changing plans on a dime, jumping through mounds of bureaucratic paperwork, and going through time-consuming checkpoints. However the chance to see a world leader in a special setting was an unexpected opportunity not to be missed.

The same is true  in the business world. Had 3M ignored an engineer’s idea that a less-than-sticky glue could be useful, the world would never have known Post-It-Notes™.  Had Larry Page and Sergey Brin not paid attention to the unexpected response to their simple search engine methodology, the word “Google” would not have become a common word in our vocabulary.

The more critical the effort, the more teamwork is required.

The rivers of the western Himalayas cascade from melting glaciers. At night, when the glaciers freeze, water level is reduced.  The timing of a crossing is critical as water rises along with the sun. Rocks and debris swirl into tumultuous rapids. Crossing alone can be suicidal. We created a human chain, grasping each other by wrists (not hands) and alternated smaller team members with larger ones.  We succeeded, cold and battered, but safe.

How often do we encounter the leader or employee who insists on “going it alone” in a critical situation?  To ask for help is perceived as a weakness. Yet, it is the strength of collective brains and maybe even brawn that can produce a better result. Equally important is knowing how to optimize the varying strengths of team members for the best results. The adage of  “strength in numbers” bears consideration.

Action is the antidote for anxiety.

We made it in time to cross the dangerous river that had already claimed six lives. But other members of our expedition crew were not so lucky. Their pace had been slowed by rounding up pack horses. In horror we watched these men attempt three times to cross, spinning against rapids and almost drowning. There was no choice but to stay on the granite rocks and wait until early morning.

I could see the anxiety in the eyes of our leader. While we hiked ahead to make camp, he devised a plan. With another team member, he filled a water proof barrel with food, warmer clothes and a small tent. He hurled a rope to the stranded crew and together they created a pulley system for retrieving the barrel. While everyone was still concerned, taking action provided some comfort.

Hand-wringing never accomplishes anything. Action gives a level of control over what, at face valuable, might seem uncontrollable. A leader helps people take that action.

Everyone deserves to be welcomed home.

When the stranded crew appeared over the horizon at day break, we cheered, sang and welcomed them “home”. Their faces glowed with a sense that we weren’t just customers to serve, managers to follow, but rather individuals who cared for their well-being.  They redoubled their efforts to work for us in the days that followed.

There’s universality in wanting to be welcomed and cheered. Whether in the remote regions of India or the meeting rooms of Wall Street, employees deserve to feel that someone has seen their effort, their hard work and their long hours. The degree of engagement and retention might increase exponentially if leaders welcomed them “home”.

Gratitude transcends latitudes

Regardless of nationality or geography, humans everywhere respond to expressions of gratitude Not only do we seek a place where we are welcomed, but our spirits rise when others let us know that we matter. The more personal the expression, the deeper is the human connection.

While it is customary to pool monies and give a bonus to the trekking crew, our expedition wanted to extend a more intimate thank-you. After all, these men had put our well-being ahead of their own.  They paid attention to our personal needs, even found a way to bake a cake at 15,000 feet when they discovered that two of us had birthdays.

Our solution was to gift them with personal items we knew could be used by themselves or their families. My new Timberland boots, thermal jacket and ski hat went into the box along with my husband’s favorite space-aged parka. Our party left gloves, socks, medicines, thermals, and even unopened bags of trail mix and jerky brought from home. We gave money to have everything cleaned and restored if need be.

When gratitude comes from the heart, is personal, unexpected, and out-of-the-ordinary, amazing linkages are created. The gifts demonstrated that we had observed their life, their needs, and responded appropriately. Spontaneous appreciation that recognizes the uniqueness of an individual beats standardized reward programs any day.

As for our band of intrepid explorers, my expedition partners who were strangers until we gathered at Chicago O’Hare for the fifteen-hour flight to New Delhi, we’ll continue our relationships that were forged with shared experiences. You might say we have created a new company through collaboration, cooperation, and consideration. That’s not a bad final lesson to carry into our respective places of work.

© 2009, McDargh Communications.  Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.

Since 1980, Hall of Fame speaker Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter.  Executive Excellence ranks her among the top 100 thought-leaders in leadership development.  To hire Eileen to teach your leaders and staff Radical Resilience visit http://www.eileenmcdargh.com/.