Quit Making Lemonade!

Often we hear the old adage ‘when life throws you lemons, make lemonade’ and it all seems so classic in terms of mental attitude and advice.  The object of course in this idiom is that when challenges or troubles come your way (the sourness of the lemon), you take those and transform them into something more useful and productive (a sweet and refreshing drink).  This old saying has been so faithfully accepted without question that it’s easy to overlook that it contains some sour seeds of its own.

Think for a moment what it takes to transform lemons into lemonade.  First, you slice open the lemon, squeeze and pulp the juice, add sugar, stir, chill, and serve.  In the end, you discard the rind and pulp you don’t want – they remain the more sour parts of the lemon.  Viola!  What once would cause you to pucker now delivers a cool and delightful shot pleasing to the pallet.  OK, you’ve got the picture and even if you’ve never made lemonade from scratch, you can probably taste that cool glass of nectar on a hot summer day as you read this.

Look deeper now and think about what this old saying subtlety says.  To turn life’s lemons into lemonade means that when life’s crises or challenges come your way, the key to transforming them is destruction.  The process of making lemonade is one that ultimately discards much of the lemon itself.  By slicing it open, selecting only the parts you really want (the juice and some pulp) and throwing away the rest, you really aren’t turning the lemon into lemonade you’re simply picking the part of the lemon that suites you best.  Isn’t this what we so often do in our own lives when faced with a problem?  We ‘look for the silver lining’ (amongst other familiar idioms) in order to select and focus on the positive and discard the negative, but in doing so, we often miss the true lessons and wisdom that life is offering in that moment.  In our pursuit of feeling better about our situation by focusing on the positive, we completely overlook some of the more important things we’re meant to learn.

Instead, consider that the lemon itself is a thing of beauty.  Each lemon, like each one of us is unique – one of a kind.  Even though you might look at a bag of lemons and believe they’re all the same, look closely and you’ll find that’s not true.  Like snowflakes and nearly every other thing in nature, every lemon is different even if it’s not easy to see.  What that means (to return to the metaphor) is that when you seek to destroy the lemon on your path to making lemonade, you ultimately damage parts of life’s lessons you should be paying attention to.  Making lemonade then is actually not a very productive use of the problem you face because in doing so, you may very well miss out on and discard the parts, that while the most sour, offer the greatest insight and beauty.  Take your future lemons at face value and don’t try to change them into something else.  Contemplate their essence and seek to more fully understand and learn from them.  Then after you’re satisfied you’ve embraced the true and complete lessons they offer, sit down and have a nice, icy-cold glass of lemonade to celebrate.