Updated: 12/17/2012
As we continue on our life's journey to uncover our higher purpose and deeper meaning of our existence, we often confuse what we do with who we truly are. Separating the two can be a deeply painful experience as it often forces us to question past decisions including in many cases our choice of profession.
A common theme lately in the coaching I’ve been doing has been dealing with the important difference between who you are versus what you do. For those of us ‘Type-A’ personalities especially, we are often so driven by what we do that we come to confuse it with who we authentically are. It’s an easy trap to fall into but one that creates a significant barrier to embracing and living our true purpose.
As we continue on our life's journey to uncover our higher purpose and deeper meaning of our existence, we often confuse what we do with who we truly are. Separating the two can be a deeply painful experience as it often forces us to question past decisions including in many cases our choice of profession.
A common theme lately in the coaching I’ve been doing has been dealing with the important difference between who you are versus what you do. For those of us ‘Type-A’ personalities especially, we are often so driven by what we do that we come to confuse it with who we authentically are. It’s an easy trap to fall into but one that creates a significant barrier to embracing and living our true purpose.
Many of the folks I’ve worked with lately are struggling
with this topic. They are having great
difficulty separating the two topics to the point where they believe that if
they aren’t actively doing something that completely aligns with their
authentic purpose, they'll be unable to find happiness and satisfaction. While I’m a champion of finding alignment,
the fact is that who we are is more a matter of how we show up to others
than it is directly mapped to what we do especially from a career
perspective. Being authentic to our true
self is a full-time deal that transcends not only our careers, but every
engagement we have with others.
Particularly in business, when we introduce ourselves it
typically comes with some form of a title or function versus who we are. While I’m the CEO of the company, who I am is
more authentic to what people should experience when interacting with me. Imagine if I introduced myself each time as
the “quiet, reflective servant-leader” which at its root is who I am. Most people would probably look at me puzzled
by such a response followed almost immediately by “what does that mean?” as
they are so accustomed to the more formalized introduction. But what I want people to experience is
someone who shows up as an intent listener seeking a way of serving them with a spirit of leadership.
When my title as CEO (or call it whatever else you want) is
what comes first, it’s my ego that is talking and not my authentic self. It saddens me that this is not only the norm,
but is the expectation. Unfortunately it
creates a context that delays if not prevents authentic dialog. People view me from a perspective of position
rather than a fellow human on a journey of discovery toward our higher purpose
(also part of my life’s purpose). When I dispense with the formalities and authentically approach someone with my purpose foremost on my mind and heart, there is almost immediate connection that enables deeper dialog, builds trust, and creates value not only for the other person, but myself as well.
What I advise people to do is to reflect on the values that
define the heart of who they are. Values
are important indicators to what makes us tick inside and knowing those areas
where you would never compromise tells us much about who we are. Breaking through the habit of representing
ourselves based on ‘what’ we do isn’t easy but it’s so worth the effort. While the words I use to describe my life’s
purpose may be refined and evolve over time, there are some principles that
represent the unique qualities of my human existence. That is who I am and it is my obligation to
do everything I can to ensure that people experience me in that way.
What are the values that define you? What principles would you stand firm for
regardless of the situation? What do you
want to leave behind? Find your
authentic center and stand in it for there you will find yourself.
Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy
execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive
leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth. Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and
connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+. Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.
You can find Duane’s blogs at:
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