I Know What I Want!

I eagerly look forward to Halloween each year because inevitably some of the children in their costumes surprise me.  Last night was no exception and while I thoroughly enjoyed the energy and enthusiasm of the ‘trick-or-treat’ revelers, there were two little girls that just had me rolling in laughter.  They each in their own way signaled that they knew exactly what they wanted and in their uniquely innocent ways, reminded me that keeping things simple is sometimes the best path.

Both girls were probably not more than 4 years old and as cute as little ones can be especially at that age.  Both were somewhat shy in approaching our doorway and in a meek voice whispered their ‘trick-or-treat’ greeting.  This is where things got really funny.  The first girl watched me carefully place the candy in her bucket only to promptly pull it out proclaiming quite boldly and clearly that “I don’t like that kind” as she handed it back to me.  Trying to keep from bursting in laughter, I reached back into the bucket and pulled out something different asking her if that was better.  “Yes” she proclaimed, thanked me, and was on her way.  I just nearly split my gut laughing after she left and my wife who hadn’t witnessed this innocent act of assertion was soon laughing with me.

The second girl was even younger and being escorted by her older sister.  Like the first, she approached quietly and almost imperceptibly requested her treat.  After reaching into the bucket and placing a piece of candy in her bag, she looked up at me as if “only one piece” was insufficient and without a single word, reached her hand into the bucket, grabbed a few more pieces, thanked me, and turned.  Her sister all the while had this shocked look on her face insisting her younger sister return the extra candy.  I told her it was fine and they left.  Once again, I’m rolling on the stoop laughing uncontrollably.  Ah the innocence of children!

There was a valuable lesson in the innocent acts of these two children – know what you want and don’t be apologetic about it.  While some would argue that the behavior of these two children represented greed, arrogance, or envy, I don’t believe that these girls harbored those feelings in their hearts at all.  Clearly, the girl that didn’t like the candy I had selected for her was simply asserting that what she received wasn’t going to work for her.  She wasn’t ungrateful about it, but she did assert her own truth in that moment.  The little one who wanted more was simply asking for more in the best way she could.  For all I know, they may have been allowed to only visit a few homes as I did notice her bucket was relatively empty when she visited.  Who was I to judge her intent especially one so innocent.

As I reflected later last evening and in writing this morning, I’m reminded that as adults, we often make the topic of ‘knowing what we want’ far more complicated than it needs to be.  This makes setting and pursuing objectives far more complex than is necessary.  There really is nothing wrong with having a clear picture in your mind on what you want and to be very direct with people.  How can you expect others to join you and follow your lead when your objective is opaque or too generalized to be of much use?  If your intentions are honorable and you don’t seek to harm in any way, then there should be nothing selfish or wrong about stating what you want and going for it.  Just like these two precious children, keeping it simple and direct is not only far more effective, it’s also more authentic.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com