Trees in the Mirror

Brisk mornings, the sun sleeping in longer each day, the leaves turning.  This is the time of year that some look upon with a sense of sadness as Summer fades and the sentinels of Winter return.  Yet for me, Fall is a magical time that reminds me of the cycle of life itself.  Have you ever reflected deeply upon the messages that trees have to offer about our own existence, our universe, and the value of life?  Trees are in fact a unique mirror reflecting back to us important lessons if we take the time to stare into them.  Trees speak to me, and I to them.

The roots of great trees are no different than those that anchor us.  Great trees have roots that run deep and wide.  Like the values in our lives that hold us in place, roots establish our place in the world.  The trunk holds within it the very nature of who the tree is and like character, it defines our identity, visible to anyone.  Every tree is unique and no two trees are exactly the same just like no two humans are the same.  Trees are willing to spread their seeds to the wind without the assurance they will take root and grow.  Are we selective in where we allow the seeds of our own efforts and life to take root or are we willing like the trees to share our fruits with any and all trusting the spirit of the universe to select the right soil and location?

As the leaves begin to turn and fall, it reminds me of the cycle of new birth, life, and death of the cells in our own bodies.  What takes an entire year for a tree, happens continuously within us.  We may lament the passing of Summer, but the 365 days of our world pass in an instant within us.  Trees know no time, only the natural process that is a part of their being.  Without this cycle, our own bodies would die instantly just as trees rely on the seasons to fuel their own growth.  Trees sing forth with a great array of color before they enter a period of internal growth, consuming the energy gained throughout the Summer.  The explosion of color we marvel at in Fall, is a reflection of the energy that drives our own personal growth.  And as Fall gives way to Winter, the trees stand naked against the cold winds and snow, with feet planted firmly in the ground, withstanding the assault with their eyes and arms toward the heavens knowing the warmth of Spring will in fact return and new growth will burst forth.

Trees with shallow roots can fall victim to fierce winds, just like those without strong values can falter and break.  Storms can shake the leaves from branches or even break them.  For me, this is like the trials we all face in life, pruning away the weak areas making room for new growth or in some cases re-shaping us to grow in a different direction.  As snow inevitably comes to blanket the ground and branches, the bark acts as an insulator protecting the essence of life within.  The bark in our own lives is an extension of the roots and trunk, allowing us to be touched by the cold yet not defeated.

Trees can teach us about how we should live.  The shade from a great tree, the shelter of its branches, and the nourishment it offers other creatures knows no prejudice.  A tree does not discriminate against those that can find protection, solace, and enjoyment under its loving care.  It stands tall and confident welcoming any and all that pass its way.  Do we live our own lives the same way?  Do those that pass our way find cool refreshment in our shade or do we push them away back out into the hot sun?  Will people that land on our branches find a perch to rest before continuing their journey, or do we shake them off?  A tree knows no such behavior.

Trees speak to me, and I to them.  Next time you see a tree, let its message of strength, hope, and faith speak to you.  Stand in a forest and reflect upon how each tree is unique yet finds itself in great company with others, not feeling jealous or envious of those around it.  Let the trees speak to you, and if you quiet yourself long enough, perhaps you too can speak back with thanks and gratitude.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.

When is Change Really Change?

Fall is upon us and with it comes the change in weather, the leaves turning and falling away, and the gradual decline in temperatures.  Fall is a period of transition and while some are eager for the change (Fall happens to be my favorite season), others dread its signal that Winter will soon be upon us.  Change is an inevitable fact of life.

Just over the last week, I have experienced an extraordinary amount of “change” in my personal and professional life.  With this convergence of some very significant situations that will affect my family and myself immediately and over the rest of our lives, I began to reflect upon when that “change” actually occurred.  It turns out, that several of the situations now present to me have in fact been in motion for months and in one case, for years.  It was only just within the last week that awareness of the realities of these events became known and recognized.  So when does change actually become change?  In other words, were these in fact changes when they first occurred without my awareness of them, or did they become change at the point that I recognized their reality?  Even more importantly, at what point did it really matter?  An even deeper question I’ve pondered is whether or not their reality is fact, perception, or some combination.  It’s like that age-old question:  if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does it make a sound?

Change is fundamentally an experience, not an event.  Because change is a constant in every aspect of our universe, it is the experience of that change filtered through our perceptions and attitudes that determines its nature, not the change itself.  Here is a basic fact: different people can reach very different conclusions yet experience the same event.  A situation for one person may not even rise to their awareness while another may view it as catastrophic.  I often use this simple example.  Most of us have witnessed an auto accident or perhaps had the unfortunate experience of being in one.  The attending officer must gather statements from as many people as possible in order to piece together a conclusion on what happened.  Keep in mind that each witness or victim observed the same event, yet the conclusions could be as unique and different as each and every individual present.  How can so many people have witnessed the same thing yet come to a very different set of observables and had a different experience?  It’s all in perception; perception shaped by attitudes, experiences, emotional state, and a myriad of many other factors.  So how does all this relate to change?

Change doesn’t happen to us, it’s in how we choose to perceive, interpret, and respond, that determines if an event becomes a moment of change in our lives or is simply another event.  When you come to understand that the reality of change is a decision that you control, it can create a much broader range of possibilities; you suddenly have options!  I’ve often marveled at people who are seemingly standing in the center of a cyclone yet seem unmoved and calm as if the sky is blue, birds are singing, and the sun is warming their skin.  You wonder how in the world such peace and calm can be found in the midst of so much turmoil.  But what may seem as chaos and gloom to one person is relatively harmless to another. 

Can change then be judged by some measure of magnitude?  Here again, the event is in the eyes of the beholder.  While a majority of people might conclude that a significant change has happened, it doesn’t mean consensus; there might still be others that look upon the event and yawn.  So magnitude is also a relative measure and not a reliable indicator of the significance of an event.

A great reflection to use when you’re facing into a moment of change then is to shift your perspective.  Look at others who may be directly involved and those that are on the periphery.  How are they interpreting the experience and what reaction(s) are they having?  Assume for the moment that their perspective is correct and yours is misguided.  Allow yourself to experience the event as if you were literally in their shoes.  Take the role of the traffic officer collecting witness statements, and then with that additional information, draw your own conclusion.  Taking the time to reflect before acting may just save you time and frustration while allowing you to be more circumspect in judging the situation.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.

Embrace the Profound

As the weather cools, I’m reminded of the warmth that a blanket offers and a loving embrace brings.  As humans, we often embrace one another as a sign of love and affection, but how often we take such a gesture for granted.  Whether it’s a spouse, child, parent, or a friend, the human embrace is a deeply profound act. 

In meditation, it’s often typical to experience the loving embrace of the spiritual leaders who have gone before us as well as those we are privileged to know.  The embrace is a way to touch others physically and spiritually.  The warmth and comfort that comes fills us completely when we allow it to.  For me, it’s like that warm cup of tea that emanates from within and spreads throughout my soul.  While other creatures may embrace to signal safety and affection, humans have the unique opportunity to be more fully aware of the significance of the gesture.

One of the most profound opportunities we have is when we realize that the universe is continually embracing us with its love and wisdom.  In that moment of solitude, we have access to energy that transcends our human existence and can transport us into the spiritual.  The human skin is a living organism that not only protects us but also allows us to communicate.  Touch is a powerful force that can be used for good and evil.  It allows us to speak without words and brings connection in ways that no other means of communication offers.  A loving and heartfelt embrace can be like the kiss of the warm sun on our skin that penetrates deep into our souls.

How often we embrace another out of habit, a feeling of obligation, or convention.  When we do so without bringing awareness to the act, we miss out on an opportunity to experience the embrace of the spirit itself.  So next time you have the opportunity to share an embrace, bring your awareness to the fore and realize you are sharing and receiving a profound embrace of the spirit of life itself.  Embrace someone today and with that act of love, let the energy of that experience fill you up.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.

I am Right and Wrong – All the Time

Paradox is an interesting thing.  It represents something that is contradictory yet within it contains the seeds of potential truth.  We live our lives in paradox when we’re willing to embrace each situation with the potential to change us.  Living paradox keeps us pliable and open like clay in the potter's hands, ready to look at each situation through a prism with an explosion of color; each change in perspective results in a different combination of possibilities.  I try to live my life as a paradox.  By embracing paradox as a life value, you open yourself to consider any situation with an openness and receptivity that can generate value and inspiration.

The opposite of paradox is rigidity.  When we choose to take a position and stand firmly in it, we can become hard in our thinking and quickly dismiss other possibilities.  Politics and religion are two areas where rigidity is often evident in full view.  And when politics and religion are mixed, the concoction can be nothing short of toxic.  Take for instance the recent Democratic National Convention (DNC) where Cardinal Dolan delivered the closing prayer.  The vitriol that erupted on social media for his remarks was nothing short of disgusting.  Was it really necessary and did it serve some higher purpose?  When taken to their extreme, such positions cross the line into hate, and that is true for either end of the spectrum.  Hate often begets hate and when people take hard positions, resistance at the other end of the spectrum is often hardened further.  How does any of this serve humanity?

Living in paradox opens dialog and discovery.  When you consider the possibility that your own perspective could be wrong (and probably is) and you have the courage to accept that, it enables you to become a part of a creative process, to be part of the solution.  I sometimes have to force myself into paradox especially in areas of my life that have been steeped in a particular perspective.  Take for example the topic of religion.  Having been raised in a Christian home, certain perspectives were reinforced in my life as fundamental truth.  I have forced myself to study other perspectives including a mix of Eastern philosophy, Islam, and other faith traditions in order to broaden my own perceptions.  Because of that, I have been able to realize there are many potentially valid explanations for the universe we live in; I have become more pliable and open to other realities and because of that, I have been enriched.

Life is more like a circle.  We live on a globe, we talk about the circle of life, and even our seasons come in cycles.  Circles are smooth and continuous with neither a start point or end.  Wherever we choose to put ourselves on the circle we see continuous flow to our left and right.  Our viewpoint on any topic is always a factor of where we are and if we choose to place ourselves somewhere else on the circle, the view is different.  And like a circle, we are all connected with some connections being closer than others, but we are in fact connected.  That is what being spiritual humans is all about.  We are each unique, valuable, and contributors whether willingly or reluctant.  The circle goes on forever; it always has and always will.

But life is not always as smooth and fluid as a circle.  It often looks more like a see-saw representing a continuum of movement, back and forth.  If you remember playing on a see-saw, you experienced the joy when two people move continuously up and down.  I remember the frustration that came when the other person would choose to hold the see-saw in one position or the other; that’s when the fun can be brought to a halt.  In any continuum, when we fix a position, we end up dividing things on either one side or the other, like politics where people are categorized as either on the “left” or “right” of an issue.  Life is about flow and if we are rigid in our thinking, we create dams behind which pressure builds, and when a dam breaks, the results can be catastrophic.

Standing in paradox however should not be confused with living without values.  Values act as beacons in our lives guiding us on and keeping us from crashing on the rocks.  Our values guide our behavior and inform our perspectives.  Without values, we would be adrift on the sea of life without a destination ahead or a sense of bearing.  Remaining pliable doesn’t mean that your values are prone to change or that you’re willing to simply go with the flow.  Instead, to live in paradox means that you are open to realize that someone else’s own values and perspectives may be as valid as your own without embracing them.  It means you are willing to accept that standing in someone else’s shoes is as valid a life as your own; you accept the sacred value of their life as you do your own.

So for me, I choose to live in paradox.  When we choose to be like clay in the creator’s hands, we can be molded and shaped into any number of things.  And like clay in the potter’s hands, it can be re-made and re-shaped over and over again.  Being pliable makes life more interesting, joyful, and creative.  It’s only when the clay is allowed to dry and become hard that the object is finished.  My hope and desire is that the time when my own clay becomes hard and fired in the kiln is when this life has come to an end and an entirely new journey begins.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.

Drips Add Up to Buckets

Isn’t it amazing that a small leak dripping ever so lightly can quickly fill a bucket?  What may look at first to be just a minor thing can add up in a short time to a small flood.  I remember looking under our sink one day to find a very small amount of water dripping from a connection.  Thinking it wasn’t much and I didn’t have time to make the repair, I placed a pitcher under the drip to prevent the water from soaking the cabinet floor and made a mental reminder to empty the pitcher on a regular basis.  The last thing I wanted was to have the cabinet soaked and rotting with mold.  It wasn’t long however until the pitcher was nearly full and I made it a priority to fix the leak; I couldn’t risk losing the cabinet and having to rip out the entire kitchen sink.

Some habits are just like those pesky drips of water.  They really don’t look like much at first, but little by little they add up until there’s enough to fill a bucket.  Paying attention to your seemingly insignificant habits is more important than you might imagine.  Ignoring them altogether can create a soggy, rotting mess and moldy results.  Take for example your eating habits.  That calorie-rich coffee drink each morning may not seem like much (just a single drip), but over the course of a year or more, those calories add up until one morning you look in the mirror and realize you’ve gained 25 pounds and feel horrible.  Or how about your evening ritual of television instead of investing at least part of that time in self-development?  If you calculated the number of hours spent watching TV compared to reading or studying something that could improve yourself, would you be shocked?  Most of us don’t start out with a large total in mind and intentionally chart a path to get there.  Instead, we simply stumble upon it mostly “by accident” yet it was no accident at all.  In fact, it was quite purposeful yet at the same time mindless.  The little things we do each day can add up to a lot and they can either produce positive or negative results, but they will produce something.

Not all habits are bad.  In fact, positive habits enable us to focus our mental energy on other things requiring more intense thought and consideration.  If we had to purposefully think about everything all the time, we wouldn’t be able to function very well.  The mental inflection point though is in recognizing where habit is running the show and making sure the habits you’re exercising are serving your higher purpose.  One of the things I regularly do is to reflect on and inventory my habits and ask myself if each of them is serving me well.  And when they are not, I set in motion steps to stop the leaking before the bucket gets too full.  Another thing that works for me is to remind myself where habit is operating by making subtle changes on purpose.  For example, most of us have morning and/or evening routines like showering, brushing teeth, hair, etc…  Ever consider making a small, purposeful change in that routine just to increase your awareness of the habits in your life?  What I regularly do is make a deliberate change in my morning or evening routine just to remind myself of the power of habit even when the habit serves me.  It’s a great way to maintain my awareness and enables me to see habit in other areas of my life as well.

So next time you see a dripping faucet or notice a leak, reflect on your habits and make sure you’re not just filling a bucket when you should be working to stop the leak altogether.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.