I am Right and Wrong – All the Time

Paradox is an interesting thing.  It represents something that is contradictory yet within it contains the seeds of potential truth.  We live our lives in paradox when we’re willing to embrace each situation with the potential to change us.  Living paradox keeps us pliable and open like clay in the potter's hands, ready to look at each situation through a prism with an explosion of color; each change in perspective results in a different combination of possibilities.  I try to live my life as a paradox.  By embracing paradox as a life value, you open yourself to consider any situation with an openness and receptivity that can generate value and inspiration.

The opposite of paradox is rigidity.  When we choose to take a position and stand firmly in it, we can become hard in our thinking and quickly dismiss other possibilities.  Politics and religion are two areas where rigidity is often evident in full view.  And when politics and religion are mixed, the concoction can be nothing short of toxic.  Take for instance the recent Democratic National Convention (DNC) where Cardinal Dolan delivered the closing prayer.  The vitriol that erupted on social media for his remarks was nothing short of disgusting.  Was it really necessary and did it serve some higher purpose?  When taken to their extreme, such positions cross the line into hate, and that is true for either end of the spectrum.  Hate often begets hate and when people take hard positions, resistance at the other end of the spectrum is often hardened further.  How does any of this serve humanity?

Living in paradox opens dialog and discovery.  When you consider the possibility that your own perspective could be wrong (and probably is) and you have the courage to accept that, it enables you to become a part of a creative process, to be part of the solution.  I sometimes have to force myself into paradox especially in areas of my life that have been steeped in a particular perspective.  Take for example the topic of religion.  Having been raised in a Christian home, certain perspectives were reinforced in my life as fundamental truth.  I have forced myself to study other perspectives including a mix of Eastern philosophy, Islam, and other faith traditions in order to broaden my own perceptions.  Because of that, I have been able to realize there are many potentially valid explanations for the universe we live in; I have become more pliable and open to other realities and because of that, I have been enriched.

Life is more like a circle.  We live on a globe, we talk about the circle of life, and even our seasons come in cycles.  Circles are smooth and continuous with neither a start point or end.  Wherever we choose to put ourselves on the circle we see continuous flow to our left and right.  Our viewpoint on any topic is always a factor of where we are and if we choose to place ourselves somewhere else on the circle, the view is different.  And like a circle, we are all connected with some connections being closer than others, but we are in fact connected.  That is what being spiritual humans is all about.  We are each unique, valuable, and contributors whether willingly or reluctant.  The circle goes on forever; it always has and always will.

But life is not always as smooth and fluid as a circle.  It often looks more like a see-saw representing a continuum of movement, back and forth.  If you remember playing on a see-saw, you experienced the joy when two people move continuously up and down.  I remember the frustration that came when the other person would choose to hold the see-saw in one position or the other; that’s when the fun can be brought to a halt.  In any continuum, when we fix a position, we end up dividing things on either one side or the other, like politics where people are categorized as either on the “left” or “right” of an issue.  Life is about flow and if we are rigid in our thinking, we create dams behind which pressure builds, and when a dam breaks, the results can be catastrophic.

Standing in paradox however should not be confused with living without values.  Values act as beacons in our lives guiding us on and keeping us from crashing on the rocks.  Our values guide our behavior and inform our perspectives.  Without values, we would be adrift on the sea of life without a destination ahead or a sense of bearing.  Remaining pliable doesn’t mean that your values are prone to change or that you’re willing to simply go with the flow.  Instead, to live in paradox means that you are open to realize that someone else’s own values and perspectives may be as valid as your own without embracing them.  It means you are willing to accept that standing in someone else’s shoes is as valid a life as your own; you accept the sacred value of their life as you do your own.

So for me, I choose to live in paradox.  When we choose to be like clay in the creator’s hands, we can be molded and shaped into any number of things.  And like clay in the potter’s hands, it can be re-made and re-shaped over and over again.  Being pliable makes life more interesting, joyful, and creative.  It’s only when the clay is allowed to dry and become hard that the object is finished.  My hope and desire is that the time when my own clay becomes hard and fired in the kiln is when this life has come to an end and an entirely new journey begins.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate your growth.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more by visiting www.connect2action.com.