Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Painting Over the Dead Cat


A June 18, 2013 article posted to The Denver Channel webpage (www.thedenverchannel.com) featured a tragic piece describing how a road painting crew had literally painted a white road strip over a dead cat.  It seemed to me to be a great metaphor for the human journey for we’ve all had times when we felt as if we’d been run over by life itself.  Later adding insult to injury someone comes along painting over us as if we didn’t exist or matter.


Recall the phrase “I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.”  Life can be like that.  Most of the time we hit bumps and get bruised along the way.  Disappointments, challenges, and simple mistakes are like scrapes and minor cuts along life’s path.  But every so often we make really big mistakes that alter our life and those of others throwing us into the path of oncoming traffic.  Most of the time, it happens because we’ve been mindlessly going along and not paying particular attention to the road ahead.  It’s then that we step into the path of a big truck and find ourselves in critical condition lying in the ditch.  For those fortunate to have loved ones and close friends, they are usually the ones to run to our aid, help stem the bleeding, and stand by our side through the long road of rehabilitation and recovery.  Others are less fortunate and find themselves left alone on the shoulder of the road to suffer.

We all make mistakes – some far worse than others.  It can sometimes feel like we’ve been abandoned and left for dead.  Adding further pain, someone occasionally comes along and mindlessly (or even intentionally) paints over our emotional corpse.  There’s no doubt had we not wandered into danger, we wouldn’t have gotten hit in the first place.  But once the damage is done, it hurts even more when someone paints over you as if you didn’t exist.  The old phrase “don’t kick a man when they’re down” describes it perfectly.  We’ve all seen stories of someone who’s wandered into traffic, gets struck, then others continue to drive by as if nothing happened.  We think to ourselves, how inhumane and insensitive were the drivers who left this person in the middle of the road.  Tragically, the injured person sometimes gets hit again as drivers mindlessly go on their way.  We wonder what would possess others to simply ignore a person in need.  Yet this often happens when mistakes result in severe emotional injury.  We are all so self-absorbed in our own lives and the crap we’re personally dealing with that we ignore someone in deep need of our help.

It reminds of a tragic accident outside the small town I grew up in years ago.  Someone had just purchased a new car equipped with a new technology – cruise control.  This person had set the cruise just north of town and mindlessly left the wheel to retrieve something in the back seat when suddenly the car left the road and rolled seriously injuring the driver and his passenger.  You see, we often put our lives on cruise control but forget we still have to drive.  Drifting along in our daily routine we fail to keep our eyes on the road and safely guide ourselves.  We take things for granted and in our absent-minded stupor, we find ourselves rolling off the road injuring ourselves and everyone else with us.  We may also find ourselves wandering out into the path of speeding vehicles then try to blame others for getting hit.  Being mindful is a life skill we can’t take for granted. 

Consequences and pain are an invaluable component of the human journey.  None of us enjoys it, but we learn and move on with our lives wiser and hopefully determined not to wander into traffic again or leave our life unattended on cruise control.  Physical and emotional pain has much in common.  As a child, you may have learned not to touch a hot stove by getting burned.  The body reacts to things that can cause damage and harm in ways that trains us to avoid the danger in the future.  Emotional pain functions the same way.  You figuratively wander into oncoming traffic, get struck, and realize how stupid that was.  It’s at this point though you hope those that care about you will pull over and help, but it doesn’t always work that way.  Sometimes, someone comes along behind you and simply paints right over you.

Over thirty years ago we had a small dog.  Cute as a button and loveable, he wandered into the street one day only to have someone swerve and intentionally hit him – he perished immediately.  There are people like that who relish the thought of inflicting pain on others.  But usually, the pain comes from an error in judgment or self-inflicted mistake and we’re often not alone.  Our words and actions often draw others into the path of danger with us.  Sometimes they run into the street to protect us and sometimes they dodge oncoming traffic to get to us when we’re down.  Regardless, human errors are rarely experienced alone.  It’s when those you depend on and love decide to paint over your emotionally dying life that inflicts even greater suffering.

Chances are, the cat in this story didn’t survive the initial collision.  Yet it suffered the indignity of others simply ignoring it.  We have an obligation as a member of the human race to pull over when we see someone injured and attend to their health and safety.  Some administer first aid and others are there to help pick up the pieces and work through recovery.  It goes both ways.  Sometimes we are the ones who stepped into traffic and need the love and concern of others to help save us.  Other times, it is we who are called upon to attend to the needs of someone else.  The human journey is filled with obstacles.  We don’t always make wise decisions.  There is always time later to reflect upon the error of your ways when someone stepped into traffic; those are lessons we each need to learn.  Yet the moment of deep pain lying by the side of the road profusely bleeding is not the time to blame someone for having been so mindless.  The value of every human life demands we stop, render aid, and help the injured recover.  Over time and after healing there will be opportunities to reflect upon the mistakes made and hopefully learn life’s lessons not repeat them.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting us all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com

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