Be Who You Are

Events of late have overwhelmed me with the realization that we spend entirely too much of our lives trying to be everything else or someone else instead of simply being who we are.  Sometimes it’s really refreshing to strip away all the ‘junk’ in our lives and examine the fundamental truth as to why we are here.  There is something magical about simplicity that allows you to focus on the few things that stand out most in your life.  

Unfortunately, this process is often accompanied with a set of painful realities – namely that we allowed ourselves to be on a path to ‘nowhere’ for too long.

In my own journey I have wandered looking for that “life purpose” giving me the peace that comes from truly knowing why one is here.  It has been an elusive critter, wary of the light, always darting around bushes and hiding in corners.  An occasional glimpse was all I seemed to ever get.  Several years ago as part of a leadership course, that elusive purpose started to unfold before me.  With the help of some loving friends, it started to come into focus and there was a moment of great joy.  Aha! I finally had it in my hands.  Holding it tightly, I was determined not to ever let it go and to live the rest of my life in complete alignment with it.

But alas it was not to be! LOL.  The more I looked at this ‘monument’ I had now taken possession of, the more it appeared to change.  Once again, it started to elude me like smoke in your hands.  I started to discover even deeper dimensions I had not seen nor anticipated.  My life purpose wasn’t static, it continued to evolve and change; and with it, my own priorities, dreams, and hopes.  Many mornings I awoke to curse this knowledge.  Why couldn’t I be like a robot, turning the crank each day in a habit of work, play, socializing, sleeping, eating, and then doing it all over again?  Why did I allow myself to be plagued by this seemingly incessant chatter calling me to something more?  I’ve heard it said that many live their lives in quiet desperation.  There have been days I would have willingly accepted that over the turmoil.

But as humans, we are incredibly unique.  We aren’t meant to arrive, drift through life aimlessly, then exit quietly to float into some eternal abyss.  Our lives are meant to be creative.  We are co-creators and the world we live in needs each of us.  And like most creative processes, it’s often messy and filled with disappointing failures.  When humans connect though, the power of creativity cannot be denied.  There is something very special about the power of human connection – something that transcends all the chatter or the mundane rhythm of daily life.  I live in and with the belief in its profound power; the power of human connection.  We are connected with one another in a dance of creative glory that seeks nothing more than to elevate, to advance the human condition, to be the bearers of love.  To be keenly aware of this privilege and calling shouldn’t be a burden; it should be a call to openness and action. 

When you extend that realization of connection even further, you glimpse into the immenseness that is the power of the universe.  It’s easy to trip up over ourselves – after all, our minds lead us to believe only what we can see.  But imagine yourself a simple atom in an ocean of other sentient beings all interacting with each other in a creative symphony generating love’s energy.  For that is precisely what is going on.  We can’t remove ourselves from the universe’s vast and limitless ocean.  But we can allow ourselves to float aimlessly bumping into other atoms with little care or concern.  It’s like a person walking down the street distracted on their phone and running into other people.  We can be so self-absorbed that we completely miss the continuous flow of gifts that are other people flowing through our lives.  It’s only when we raise our awareness that those encounters become meaningful and creative.

Most recently, I have been challenged deeply on this basic truth.  Some people pass through your life in brief bursts and others come and stay for a while.  Each encounter comes as a wrapped gift box and it’s your choice whether or not to open it.  It’s very rare I turn away a gift.  I’m generally impatient and like a young child with a present I have a tendency to rip the paper off and open it as quickly as possible.  My deep belief in the power of human connection and the energy of love that comes with it drives me to dive in instead of testing the waters.  People experience me through an often-unexpected amount openness and transparency; I don’t hide much – it’s not in my ‘DNA’.  For some, this can all come as somewhat overwhelming while others embrace it and the creative dance unfolds naturally before us.  I have painfully learned that not everyone that enters my life is interested or willing to ‘connect’ in the same way, but I’m unwilling to quit trying.  Each rejection is bitter-sweet for I hope that in every encounter, I have left my loving footprint in their lives in a way that will someday bring them joy even if it's not recognized at the time and even if I'm not there to share in it.  And in those instances where the connection has time to grow, I find peace and satisfaction that together, we collaborated in creating something of great beauty.

There are lessons to be learned in each human encounter.  The one I keep getting thrown at me is patience.  The fact this particular lesson keeps getting delivered means I haven’t figured it out yet.  The other is personal freedom.  Love and connection cannot be coerced no matter how strongly you may want it to be.  I have to remind myself that each person passing into my life comes with their own unique qualities, needs, wants, dreams, and purpose.  They need to be allowed to 'be who they are' just like I need to be who I am.  Joy comes when you learn to patiently stitch them together co-creating something greater than each individual could otherwise do on their own.  I used to do jazz improv and it’s very similar.  Each person is ‘making it up as they go’ bringing their unique talent, rhythm, and style to the piece, but when you step back and listen to it as a whole, it sounds marvelous – it makes perfect sense and there is harmony.  

This certainly isn’t the first time my own journey has drawn me to what appears to be a precipice. Each time the fear of what lies beyond causes hesitation not knowing if the next step allows me to fall helplessly or to soar like a beautiful bird.  This is part of the human process and being fully aware of its presence is an invitation not a curse.  Sometimes when you take that next step, you fall for a considerable distance before the wind beneath your wings begins to lift you.  It’s probably no different than the baby bird being pushed from its nest.  Sooner or later though you figure out how to spread those wings and glide joyfully on the breeze of life.

I have to remind myself to be truly grateful for each person that touches my life including those whose touch can be painful.  Finding the joy in each encounter is what life is all about.  And as co-creators of our universe, it is my responsibility to reverence the immense power of human connection and not take it for granted; because if I don’t, the journey through this life will be awfully lonely.  To each of you who have touched my life, thank you for your gifts.  I cherish them and always will.  And for those I’ve not had the privilege of connecting with yet, let the creativity begin!

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  Curious sage in perpetual development connecting all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com