The Bane of Static Cling

It’s happened to all of us.  You put on clean clothes, step out of the house, and suddenly find a stray sock or even something more intimate clinging to you.  Or you suddenly realize your skirt has decided to ball up exposing a part of your anatomy you’d rather not share.  Depending on the circumstances, you may find great humor or great horror in the experience.  But static cling is not just a clothing phenomena.   Our emotional and spiritual self also experience static cling and sometimes the uninvited guest is most unwelcome.  Are you aware when something is clinging to you or you to it?

There are all kinds of things that cling to us.  Another word for it is attachment.  Sometimes, we cling to things intentionally fully aware of it.  It’s not just physical things in our life like our possessions that we can hold tight to.  Take for example, a feeling of anger or resentment we refuse to let go of.  Someone hurt us and we’re just unwilling to move on.  What about specific beliefs?  They can be spiritual, political, societal, or personal.  When we knowingly attach to something, we have made a conscious choice and must accept the consequences of holding on.  We limit ourselves when we choose to cling - our spiritual growth becomes stifled.

But what about things clinging to us we’re unaware of?  Like the sock clinging to your pants, we can be attached to things without being fully aware of it.  At some point we may eventually notice the straggler tagging along.  Typically, it’s a friend or even total stranger that brings the unwanted traveler to our attention.  To correct the clinging condition, you remove the static.  By separating the object from its static source, it no longer clings.  The same is true of spiritual attachment.  You can break the attachment only when you address the source of static that is creating the clinging attraction.  So it's not the object itself we cling to, but the attraction (static) that holds it in place.  Therefore, in order to understand why we hold onto something, we need to look beyond the thing itself and examine the source of the attraction (static).

Differing West and East perspectives on attachment appear to be diametrically opposed.  The West often views the topic of attachment to be limited to material matters.  Some religious traditions encourage release from material goods.  But does that mean to be a true practitioner of ‘faith’ requires a monastic or ascetic lifestyle?  Is attachment only about what we own or is there a deeper truth?  If we are clinging to something (or it’s clinging to us), there is more to it.  It is meeting a need or desire.  To unhook then requires us to identify and examine the source of that need and break the electrical charge.

Attachment can cause suffering when we confuse objects with our deeper self.  When I allow what I ‘own’ to become part of ‘who’ I am the loss of that object can be devastating.  Objects are temporary but our true self is eternal.  Keeping things in proper perspective is a constant balancing act.  We don’t need to be tucked away at a monastery or ashram to understand this.  When we cling to something, it is often symptomatic of a deeper issue.  We use the 'thing' we cling to as a replacement for something else missing in our life.  Getting to the source of our desire to cling opens us to growth and allows us to eventually let it go.

Consider the following situations and ask yourself how you would respond:

You wake in the middle of the night to the smoke alarm and immediately realize the house is on fire.  You wake everyone and rush out as the fire department arrives.  You stand across the street as you watch the house burn.  When the fire is extinguished, nearly half your home has been destroyed. 

You’re strolling through a beautiful park with your best friend.  The air is clean, the birds singing and you feel the warm sun on your face.  Life is peaceful and the conversation is personal and uplifting.  Suddenly, someone on a bicycle rushes by snatching the camera from your shoulder and quickly disappears down the path. 

You invested hours and days preparing a presentation for the executive team.  Your work will have a profound impact on the future of the company.  You’re excited to present your recommendations knowing you’ve developed a truly groundbreaking approach.  Your immediate supervisor has been supportive and is just as excited.  As you prepare to make your presentation, your supervisor informs you that she will be doing the presentation – you have been disinvited from the meeting.  Your supervisor goes on to make the presentation and takes full credit for the work.

Did you experience any clinging as you considered each situation?  If so, why – what do you see as the source of your reaction?  We all experience loss.  When we feel attached to something, its loss can knock the wind from our sails.  On the other hand, would any of these situations result in a loss of your authentic self?  Would you consider the house fire to be different than the loss of a camera or theft of your work?  If so, why are they different?  Most would agree that the theft of a camera or someone taking credit for your work is wrong and unethical.  Likewise, should the perpetrator be caught, most would agree that some consequence is in order.  However, does any of that make your situation any better at a deep, personal level?  Do you seek revenge or feel justified in dispensing punishment?  These types of challenging questions can help us ponder the topic of attachment in our lives.

Here’s a few questions you can use when evaluating attachment:

1. If I were to lose this, how long would I grieve its loss?
2. How willing am I to give this to someone who is in greater need?
3. Am I clinging to this in some way as a reflection on myself?
4. By holding onto this, what am I hoping to compensate for?
5. What do I fear in letting it go?

Reducing the static cling in our emotional and spiritual lives starts with becoming aware of its presence and underlying source then eliminating the attracting charge that is holding it in place.  Find the source of static cling in your life and let it go.

Duane Grove is founder of Connect2Action and an aspiring quiet, reflective servant-leader.  A curious sage in perpetual development connecting all on a journey of discovery of our highest purpose.  Follow Duane on Twitter @connect2action and connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+.  Learn more about Connect2Action by visiting www.connect2action.com.

You can follow his blogs at:  mindfulperspectives.blogspot.com and connect2action.blogspot.com